Wolf Girl
by ArdenSage
Summary: In a world gone mad, the once-friends of Inquisitor Yvelle Lavellan reflect on the woman who made it that way. The song begins the same, but quickly takes on a different tune -because fate may have killed the wrong sister. [Part I of Godkiller, a canon-divergence fic focusing on a very reluctant Inquisitor]
1. Chapter 1

Foreword

The Winter Palace

 **Lavellan-**

It should have been her.

All of this was for her. The dancing, the dresses, the tiny cakes. She would have loved it all. I could see her when I closed my eyes, could almost feel the heat of her magic coursing through me. But never quite, because magic was hers. She was so good, so powerful. The Keeper said she hadn't seen such talent in all her years. I could see the lines on her face, the marks of Dirthamen. Her eyes were like mine, amber and strange, and her face was just as thin, with the same upturned nose. Her hair was different, though- it lay flat where mine was always in thick curls, and it grew so fast I accused her of using magic to make it longer more than once.

She would speak so openly with humans, and seemed genuinely interested in their stories. She'd vanish some nights, but come back before we could figure out where she'd gone. I always knew, though. Sometimes she'd forget to remove a bobby pin, or have alcohol on her breath.

"Please don't tell the Keeper!" She begged me one night after I noticed a mark of lipstick on her neck. I made her promise me something stupid, I always did. Do some inane chore, tell one of the boys I was worth their time, whatever. She was so good with everyone, so charming and easygoing and soft with every word.

I resented her for it. She couldn't have both worlds -it wasn't allowed. She couldn't be funny and powerful and social and beautiful. Our own mother once asked how it was that Ellian got everything. At least I could string a bow.

But she was gone. And I was here, in this place where she should be, with the mark that she should have, all because of a stupid argument. Because I was jealous.

"Inquisitor?" I turned, drawn from my daydreaming. "Darling, you are doing so well, but you must remember to smile!" Vivienne rested a hand on my shoulder, and I blinked to make the pictures go away.

"Of course," I did as she told me.

"Not like that. Oh, Lavellan, pretend you mean it. Good! Perfect." She smiled and offered me a glass of something. "Have you seen our dear Seeker? Leliana said someone ought to keep an eye on her, but it seems she's avoiding the party entirely."

"I think she's outside, by the front entrance."

Vivienne gave my shoulder the slightest squeeze. "Thank you, my dear. And Lavellan?" I hadn't realized until then that I wasn't making eye contact. "I know it hurts. But you are owning this night. Stay focused, darling."

I took a deep breath and nodded. "You're right, of course. It's just- it's nothing. I have to focus." I downed the glass in one shot, then coughed as it burned down my throat. "Fenedhis- what is that?"

She chuckled. "Not something you should chug, my dear. Now go, I think the Duchess would like to speak with you."

Reeling a bit from the alcohol, I looked up to see the Grand Duchess was indeed looking in my direction. "Well, let's put your training to the test."

"You'll do wonderfully, I'm sure," Vivienne replied with a smirk.

I smiled toward the Duchess, and made my way toward her.

 _-excerpt from the Journal of Yvelle Lavellan_

The Temple of Sacred Ashes

 **Varric-**

I wasn't sure whether we'd met a woman or a wild animal after the explosion at the conclave. First I see Cassandra, all frustrated grunts and heavy breathing, covered in dirt but thankfully not blood. Behind her is this twig of an elf girl, darker-skinned than most elves I've met, with dark vein-y face tattoos and wild red hair. Her eyes were this amber color, piercing, angry, but also confused. Her clothes, tattered and ill-fitting, made her look even more out-of-place.

She stood back and fired arrows at the demons, showing surprising restraint and excellent technique with every shot. They might not be big on indoor plumbing, but the Dalish don't skimp on the archery.

Then Solas grabs her by the arm and boom! Just like that, the rift is closed. She looks as surprised as anyone else, but we barely have time for introductions. Her name is Yvelle. She's Dalish. She's looking for her sister. We pressed on, with Solas questioning her about being Dalish, and she responding with little more than grunts and vague threats. But still, I was admittedly intrigued -it felt like something important was happening, even if what exactly that something was hadn't been made clear.

We got to the bridge and as soon as she had a chance to speak the wild wolf girl asked where her sister was. For a moment Leliana was confused, but she must have realized something because her voice suddenly turned gentle and kind. "You mean Lady Ellian. We have not seen her since before the explosion. It is… unlikely she survived. My condolences." I know, I didn't understand it either. But Yvelle, for the first time, visibly softened.

"You… you're sure?"

"Well… not completely, but I would not hold out hope." The exchange seemed to change Cassandra's tune, but before she could say anything Yvelle turned on her with fire in her eyes.

"You still think I did this? Killed my own sister?" It was like she was physically bristling- I swear her hair actually stood on end. She mumbled something Dalish that sounded vulgar and shook her head, the mark flickering on her hand.

 _-excerpt from The Official Story of Inquisitor Lavellan, as Told by Those Closest to Her by Varric Tethras_

The pathway wound down into what was left of the Temple of Sacred Ashes. Cassandra explained that this was where we'd found Yvelle, where she walked out of the Fade. It was obvious Yvelle had no memory of this -she seemed confused when we said there was a woman behind her, and even asked how it could be that she walked out of the Fade.

"That is where you dream. How do you walk out of it?"

Cassandra watched her warily as she tread among the burning corpses, eyes drawn to their faces. "That's what we would like to know. But if you truly don't remember, then I suppose there is no answer yet."

I remember how Yvelle wrapped her arms around her stomach, clutched at the loose jacket she wore. The cold wind blew her hair from her face, and she shook her head slowly. "So much death… and so pointless." A few sparks flew her way and she raised her arm to shield herself. "But I do not see her here."

"Your sister?" Cassandra asked, still sounding confused.

Yvelle nodded and looked at the Seeker. "Ellian. She liked you shems, though I'll never understand why. She wanted to go to your Conclave, said it was important. I only went to protect her in case something went wrong." She sighed heavily, like there was a great weight on her chest that she struggled to lift. "This is more than what a few arrows can solve."

Panicked shouting from inside drew her back to us, and we followed her into the Temple. Green light filtered down from the breach and set everything in a sickly glow. As Leliana and Cassandra spoke, Yvelle stared up at the Breach, her wide amber eyes tinged with green. "That is a long way up…" I said, following her gaze.

I thought I heard her breath catch in her throat. "Yes… yes it is."

Cassandra turned to her then, pulled her attention away from the sky. "This is your chance to end this. Are you ready?"

"I'll try, but I don't know if I can reach that, much less close it."

"No. This rift was the first and is the key. Seal it, and perhaps we seal the breach." Solas hadn't said much to her since we met. Given what we now know about him, I can't help but wonder what he was thinking at this point. Likely some combination of "I really screwed this shit up" and "I can't decide whether she's pretty, terrifying, or both." I'd lean more towards terrifying, personally, but that's just me.

As we approached the rift we heard voices echoing from the Fade. Eventually we'd know it was Corypheus speaking, but at the time we only recognized Divine Justinia. On the way down we found our first glimpse of red lyrium -evil shit, corrupts you. I'd already had more than my fair share of experience with it by that point, and just seeing it again made my stomach churn.

Then, within the echos, we heard another voice. Yvelle, clear but shaky, spoke up through the chaos. "What's going on here?" Images flashes against the rift: a glowing darkspawn magister, the Divine herself, and the shadow of a red-haired elf-girl with a bow strapped to her back.

Corypheus spoke again, in that deep, unsettling voice: "Slay the elf."

 _-excerpt from The Official Story of Inquisitor Lavellan, as Told by Those Closest to Her by Varric Tethras_

Haven

 **Leliana-**

The Herald was asleep for a full fourteen hours after closing the rift at the Temple of Sacred Ashes. I was told she was an elf, and an archer, and probably very hungry considering she likely hadn't eaten since well before the explosion. Lady Josephine and I set about finding her something, anything, that would help make her more comfortable in Haven. We put out a request to the people: "If anyone has any clothes or food they can spare for the Herald, who is a small elven woman, please bring them to Sister Leliana or Josephine Montilyet in the chantry."

Even when they had so little, when their world was in turmoil and they were mourning the loss of the Divine, if not their own friends and family, the faithful gave what they could. Women brought scarves and socks and what little other clothing they could spare, and a tearful Sister even lent a pair of shoes she said were all that remained of her dearest friend. The men lent jackets, gloves, even a bow ("So she can hunt when she wakes up," he'd said gruffly as he shifted his weight and wrung his hands. "Those elves like hunting, right?").

The most surprising gift came from an elderly woman, one not affiliated with the Chantry. She said she'd lived in Haven her whole life, and had met a small elf woman before, a Grey Warden, who would go on to save the world from a Blight. She looked down at the bundle of clothes in her arms, then back up at me, her eyes pleading. "I was not kind to her. I called her cruel things, because I'd been taught by cruel people. I prayed she might come back, so that I could apologize, so I could give her something to show how grateful I am for everything she's done for us. But this… is a sign. I made these things for her in the hope that one day she could claim them, but the Herald needs them more. Even if she does not wear them, please tell her they come from the faithful."

I smiled and graciously took her gift. It was a grey-beige jumpsuit, with metal clasps and glittering decorations all over. Not the most fashionable, but it certainly looked comfortable and there was obvious effort in every stitch. I had one of the Sisters deliver it to the Herald as she slept.

It wasn't for another few hours that she finally stumbled from the cabin we'd housed her in, one arm held up to shield her from the sun. I do not know how she'd managed to find it in such a short time, but apparently someone had left an old Avvar outfit in a chest. She was wearing this hideous lump of furs that made her look about four times larger than she actually was, and still she shivered. When I finally met her, the first thing she said was an elvhen curse, and then: "I am still a suspect? Even with all those shems bowing to me outside? Do you at least have something to eat in here?"

Josephine called her "a project."

 _-excerpt from The Official Story of Inquisitor Lavellan, as Told by Those Closest to Her by Sister Leliana_


	2. Chapter 2

Haven

 **Leliana-**

A small room in the back of the chantry became our "War Room." At the time it seemed a bit grandiose, but Josephine thought it fitting so I didn't argue. Lady Montilyet hadn't technically "met" the Herald- only seen her sleeping, strange as that sounds. She'd been curious, and I wasn't going to deny her. When she saw Lavellan curled up, covering her head with her hands, taking up as little space in the bed as possible, Josephine had to stifle a giggle. "I am sorry, that was rude of me. She just- why does she look like that?"

"She's an elf, Josie."

Josephine scoffed. "You know that is not what I meant! I mean, why is she covering her face?"

I shrugged. "If you regularly sleep in vulnerable places, you may learn odd positions just feel safer."

So the meeting in the War Room was the first time Lady Montilyet met the Herald properly. She curtsied when Lavellan walked in, and gave a polite little smile. Cassandra was behind the Herald, watching her warily (as had become standard at that point).

"May I present Commander Cullen, leader of the Inquisition's forces."

Yvelle raised her eyebrows at him. "All twelve of them."

"We lost many soldiers in the valley, and I fear many more before this is through."

"Oh…" Evidently the Herald had not been expecting melancholy. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- sorry."

Even if Cullen had a reply, Cassandra did not give him the chance to offer it. "This is lady Josephine Montilyet, our ambassador and chief diplomat."

"Andaran Atish'an," she said, still smiling.

"You speak elven?" Yvelle smiled at this -impressed, I thought.

"You've just heard the entirety of it, I'm afraid."

"And of course you know Sister Leliana," Cassandra said, nodding to me. I wanted to explain that my position was not so easily described as Cullen's or Josephine's, but Cassandra is not always one for careful language. "She is our spymaster."

"Er, yes. Tactfully put, Cassandra."

Lavellan looked us over and took a deep breath. "I am pleased to meet you all."

"I mentioned that your mark needs more power to close the breach for good," Cassandra began. I thought going to the rebel mages for help was a more surefire option, as giving more magic to the mark would definitely help Lavellan close it. Our Commander did not agree- as a former Templar himself, he swore the Order was a safer bet.

Ever the negotiator, Josephine took a third option. "Unfortunately, neither group will even speak to us yet. The Chantry has denounced the Inquisition -and you, specifically."

"That didn't take long," Lavellan said flatly.

"Some are calling you -a Dalish elf- the 'Herald of Andraste,' and that frightens the Chantry. The remaining Clerics have declared it blasphemy, and we heretics for harboring you."

Cassandra scoffed. "Chancellor Roderick's doing, no doubt."

Josephine looked at her ubiquitous clipboard, shaking her head. "It limits our options. Approaching the mages or templars for help is currently out of the question."

"I'm no herald of anything!"Lavellan argued. "Particularly Andraste."

Cullen was deadpan as ever. "I'm sure the Chantry would agree."

"But how are they not more concerned about the Breach? The real threat?"

"They do know that it is a threat, they just don't think we can stop it," Cullen replied.

Lavellan rubbed the bridge of her nose, shaking her head.

"There is something you can do," I said, thinking it might offer her some reassurance. "A Chantry Cleric by the name Mother Giselle has asked to speak to you. She is not far, and knows those involved far better than I. Her assistance could be invaluable."

"Why would someone from the Chantry help a declared heretic?" At least Lavellan seemed to be catching on -and wasn't throwing "shem" around as much.

"I understand she is a reasonable sort. Perhaps she doesn't agree with her sisters? We'll find her tending to the wounded in the Hinterlands near Redcliffe."

Cullen nodded. "Look for other opportunities to expand the Inquisition's influence while you're there."

"We need agents to extend our reach beyond this valley, and you're better suited than anyone to recruit them," Josephine agreed, though Lavellan didn't seem to think the same, judging by her wrinkled nose.

Cassandra looked between us and took a deep breath. "In the meantime, let's think of other options. I won't leave this all to the Herald."

 _-excerpt from The Official Story of Inquisitor Lavellan, as Told by Those Closest to Her by Sister Leliana_

The Hinterlands

 **Varric-**

So the Herald of Andraste, the future Divine Victoria, literally Fen'Harel, and myself, Varric Tethras, go to the Hinterlands. It sounds like the beginning of a bad joke (a subject with which I am intimately familiar) but it's not. Someone, likely one of the many people actually living in Haven, fixed Yvelle's hair to make it look presentable, and with some careful language Leliana managed to convince her to wear something besides that giant Avvar costume. After a day or two of wandering around Haven and getting familiar with the surroundings, she finally went to the Hinterlands because, and I quote: "Leliana said there's probably a dragon there. And a guy who has horses."

She didn't really get what she was expecting, but I think she was okay with that. Scout Harding met us there, and I tried to lighten the mood a bit by asking her if she'd ever been to Hightown. Because then she'd be Harding in Hightown.

Anyway, I thought it was funny.

The big problem in the Hinterlands was the war between templars and mages. We needed to reach the Crossroads, but the fighting was so bad that we were stopping and killing people after about every ten paces. It would have felt nostalgic if I actually liked any of the people I was travelling with at the time. Don't misunderstand -we all came to be great friends or horrible enemies over the next couple of months, but I was basically only there in the beginning because it seemed like the right thing to do. Also, it wasn't really clear whether I was still in custody or not. I mean, sure, Cassandra said I could leave, but I couldn't tell how much she meant it.

"Apostates…" Yvelle shook her head, carefully stepping over a templar corpse on the ground as we approached the mage stronghold at Witchwood. "Ought to all be burned."

"Excuse me, Herald?" I could feel the irritation coming off of Solas- I don't think he expected to hear that from her.

"No, no, not you. The bad ones. Elvhen are naturally better at magic. More in control. I would not trust a shem apostate as far as I could throw them, and I am not one for throwing shems." She shrugged and turned to him. "The circles are good for shem mages, but elves should have a place of their own. Take the Hero of Ferelden- twice the mage anyone else in her circle was, and an elf."

"The Hero of Ferelden turned into a cat and vanished immediately after the crowning of Queen Anora. Not an ideal example, Twigs." I may not know much, but I'd heard the story of the Hero of Ferelden so many times that the facts were seared into my brain. Not that I'm complaining -it's a hell of a tragedy.

"Well, yes, but- wait, what did you just call me?"

I shrugged. "Twigs. Because you're skinny and you lived in the woods most of your life. And your bow and arrows are essentially just twigs taken to their logical conclusion."

"Anyway, Herald, that is not… entirely true." Solas said, seeming to have calmed down. "Personally, I would not advocate for burning anyone, human apostate or not."

"Ironic, Chuckles, because you're the only one here who can throw fire at people."

"Ha! Fair point, child of the stone." I think he meant it as a… term of endearment? Maybe? I'm not sure, but it took a lot of restraint on my part not to react with violence.

 _-excerpt from The Official Story of Inquisitor Lavellan, as Told by Those Closest to Her by Varric Tethras_

 **Cassandra-**

I remember the first time I really spoke with the Herald. She was still wearing that lump of furs. I was hitting a training dummy, and she came near me cautiously.

"I think you need dummies made of sturdier stuff."

"That would be nice," I said.

"Like maybe iron."

I relaxed and put my sword down. "Did I do the right thing?" I asked, taking a few steps away from her. "What I have set in motion here could destroy everything I revered my whole life. One day, they might write me as a traitor, a madwoman, a fool. And they may be right."

"Well it's a bit late to worry about it now," Lavellan said, following me.

"Is it? We have only just begun. My trainers always told me I was too brash, and that I had to think before I acted. But I see what must be done and I do it! I see no point in running around in circles like a dog chasing its tail," I responded, then paused. I looked at her. "You said you don't believe you're chosen. Does that mean… you don't believe in the Maker?"

"Mm… not really," the question seemed to make her uncomfortable. "See, I like the Evanuris -the Dalish gods. They're all I've ever known, and I think they make sense. Having only one god to do everything… well I would think he would be too busy. It's too much for one person, even a god. And I have received their blessings before, I know that -particularly Andruil, and June, who help me hunt and make my traps. But maybe something made them, and maybe that's the Maker." Finally, she shrugged. "So… is maybe a good enough answer for you?"

I do not remember precisely what I did then. I think I sighed- Lavellan is not exactly a philosopher and neither was I or am I. Eventually I told her it didn't really matter. I had to believe we were put on our path for a reason, even if she did not know or care.

 _-excerpt from The Official Story of Inquisitor Lavellan, as Told by Those Closest to Her by Cassandra Pentaghast_


	3. Chapter 3

Where it Hurts

 **Lavellan-**

What was it Cole said? Something like this:

"The humor helps but doesn't heal. Making it silly makes it smaller, but only for a second. You blink and it's back, black and biting. 'You're doing well,' the Seeker says. You smile, but inside you think she's lying."

Yeah. It was kind of like that.

 _-excerpt from the Journal of Yvelle Lavellan_

The Hinterlands

 **Varric-**

After cleaving our way through hordes of angry templars and apostates, we finally reached the Crossroads. "So Leliana really thinks this Mother Giselle is going to be sympathetic?" Yvelle asked, watching the Chantry sisters cautiously as they moved about the camp.

"She says it is worth a try. We cannot go forward with everyone in the Chantry denouncing us, we need allies. Especially among the faithful," Cassandra walked beside her, about a pace ahead, as if subtly urging her forward.

"Mm… I don't know, I feel like this is going to end in disaster. And all this Herald stuff is creepy. I don't really like being worshiped."

I chuckled at that. "You don't know how reassuring that is, Twigs."

"Regardless of what you believe, letting people think you are the Herald of Andraste can help earn us support, which is desperately needed." Yvelle said this was essentially lying, and Cassandra sighed. "Is it lying if it comes from multiple people, some of whom believe and some of whom do not?"

"Sort of? It's a partial lie, anyway."

"Then I suppose you'll just have to be a partial liar for now, Lavellan. Now I believe that is her -try not to get too excited." Cassandra gestured toward a taller, dark-skinned woman in Chantry robes. Yvelle groaned, but went anyway. We followed her, keeping back so as not to disrupt.

"You must be Mother Giselle," Yvelle said, knit brow and wrinkled nose betraying her discomfort.

"I am. And you must be the one they're calling the Herald of Anraste."

"Yeah, well not through any choice of mine."

That made Mother Giselle chuckle. It was a polite chuckle of course, very modest. "We seldom have much say in our fate, I'm sad to say."

"You… agree with them?"

"I don't presume to know the Maker's intentions, for any of us. But I did not ask you to come simply to debate with me."

Yvelle narrowed her eyes- she knew that was a non-answer. "Then why am I here?" Mother Giselle nodded toward a walkway and Lavellan followed, looking stiff and uncomfortable beside a Chantry layperson.

"I know of the Chantry's denouncement, and I'm familiar with those behind it. Some of them are grandstanding, hoping to increase their chances of becoming the new Divine. But some are simply terrified. So many good people, senselessly taken from us."

"That's an excuse? They're making things worse."

"They don't know that. This is my point. Go to them, convince the remaining clerics you are no demon to be feared. They have heard only frightful tales of you. Give them something else to believe."

"They want to execute me! You think I should just walk up to them?"

Mother Giselle kept her voice even, gentle. "You are no longer alone. They cannot imprison or attack you."

"They could try…"

"Let me put it this way: you needn't convince them all. You just need some of them to doubt. Their power is their unified voice. Take that from them, and you receive the time you need."

Yvelle thought this over for a moment while chewing on her bottom lip. "You make it sound simple," she said finally, starting to relent.

"I honestly don't know if you've been touched by fate or sent to help us… but I hope." She paused dramatically before continuing. "Hope is what we need now. The people will listen to your rallying call, as they will listen to no other. You could build the Inquisition into a force that will deliver us or destroy us. I will go to Haven and provide Sister Leliana the names of those in the Chantry who would gather with you. It is not much, but I will do whatever I can." She turned and walked away, leaving the Herald standing on the steps, overlooking the Crossroads.

 _-excerpt from The Official Story of Inquisitor Lavellan, as Told by Those Closest to Her by Varric Tethras_

 **Cassandra-**

I admit, the meeting with Mother Giselle went much better than I'd hoped. Lavellan did not call her a shemlen once, and was surprisingly civil when discussing the Chantry. Still, I confess that I emphasized to Leliana the importance of finding someone more suitable for the role of Inquisitor afterward. She told me she was trying.

We did not leave the Hinterlands right away. Lavellan wanted to find Master Dennet (whom she referred to as "the horse guy"), and there were several rifts we thought should be closed as soon as possible. We also needed to deal with the threat of the rogue templars, which proved relatively easy. Lavellan was a remarkable archer, and she fit in well with Varric. At one point she started asking him about Bianca, which he seemed to appreciate a great deal.

We were near one of our camps, her leading and discussing the advantage of different ranged techniques with Varric, when suddenly she stopped. "Wait," she stood completely still and crouched slightly. "There's a bear here."

"Is that a problem for you, Herald?" I asked her.

She seemed to shrink into herself a little. "No! Er-" her voice cracked and she cleared her throat. "I just- well, they're very fearsome. And… one time when I was hunting one of my friends got mauled to death by one in front of me." The entire last sentence came out very quickly, like she was ashamed to admit it.

"Well, shit, Twigs, no wonder you don't like them," Varric said with a laugh.

"Varric, I do not think this is a laughing matter!" I thought it sounded horrible. Bears can be savage and violent creatures, and I could not imagine how terrible it must have been to see your friend killed by one.

"No, it's… it was a long time ago. I was… fourteen? Fifteen? Ugh… Makes my stomach churn."

"Herald, I do not mean to make you uncomfortable, but don't Dalish clans live in the forest? How can you live in the woods and be so afraid of bears?" I asked her. It was an honest question. I knew very little of the Dalish, and I'd hoped to learn more from her.

"Ah, well, most clans do, I suppose, live in more forested places. But Clan Lavellan is really more of a plains clan. There aren't many bears, but we see them often enough to know we need to be afraid." She shook her head and sighed. "I suppose if we're going to be here, around bears, for a while, then I just… ought to get used to them." She shivered a little, and I do not recall it being very cold that day.

- _excerpt from The Official Story of Inquisitor Lavellan, as Told by Those Closest to Her by Cassandra Pentaghast_

The Way to Wycome

 **Cassandra-**

Lavellan did not speak much as we sailed north. Occasionally she would ask how close we were, and I heard her tell Solas she was fine when he tried to comfort her. Without her typical banter the trip was largely silent, save for Dorian's retching off the rear of the ship.

"She is already hurting," Solas said quietly. I gave him space to sit beside me on the bench I'd claimed. He stood for a while, staring toward the shore, before eventually sitting down. "Have you tried speaking with her?"

I nodded. "Once, as we were leaving. She said she was fine, and that there wasn't anything I could do for her."

He sighed softly. "I heard the same." He glanced toward the back of the ship and opened his mouth, but I cut him off.

"We should be grateful Dorian is even here. If he tries to talk to her he'll vomit, and neither of them will appreciate that."

"That is true, I suppose." We both fell quiet for a long time. Occasionally he would look over at her, and see she hadn't moved. Her eyes were locked on the horizon, the coattail of her armor flowing in the wind. Her dark red hair blew across her face, and every once in awhile she would reach up to fix it. "Do you ever… fear for her, Seeker?"

I looked at him curiously. "How do you mean?"

"She is your Herald. The Inquisitor. Yet she is young and inexperienced, and throws herself into danger more often than not." I said nothing, and he continued. "She is always falling off of hills and eating strange plants. She sets mines that explode dangerously close to her. Two weeks ago, she told the Bull to throw her while they were fighting a dragon. iPhysically/i throw her."

"I was there, Solas. I remember."

"Does it not concern you? To know how little regard she has for her own safety? She's the leader of the Inquisition, and she just- and then this… whatever comes of this, I fear she will return to Skyhold a different person." He shook his head. "I have never seen her so… despondent. It must worry you, Seeker. She is always able to laugh, even after Haven, even after what happened at the Conclave. Yet now she just…"

"Solas?" I said, looking at him. He paused, letting out a breath for whatever he had left to say. "I am not an expert, but it sounds like you are projecting."

"Is it wrong to be afraid for our leader?"

"No! Of course not. I do fear for her, Solas. She is a good woman, and we would be lost without her. But you seem to fear a lot more... and differently. Does she… know that?"

He said nothing for a moment, then, flatly: "there is nothing to know, Seeker."

I stared at him as he turned back to watch the shoreline, waiting for more. But ultimately he said nothing else. He simply stood and left to go below deck.

We were still a long way from Wycome. Eventually I decided to try again with Lavellan. I approached her cautiously, like she might run away, and leaned against the railing beside her. "Lavellan-"

"Stop," she looked at me, more serious than I'd ever seen her, and her eyes were red and tearful. "You can't fix this by talking. When someone takes so much from you, the only way to fix it is by taking even more back from them." I started to speak, but she kept going. "It's one thing to attack the people that are in your way. It's still bad, but it's forgivable. That's just how war is. When Gaspard's troops burned down a village in the Dirth, it's awful but it makes sense. You can justify that. But this?" She gestured to the shore and shook her head. "Why? To go out of your way to hurt innocent people just to send a message? That's evil, Cassandra. And when I get my hands on them, on the Venatori scum that did this…" She shook her head and looked up at me again, her eyes now cool and steeled. "I am going to make them suffer."

I hesitated a moment, then rested my hand on your shoulder. "Yvelle, you have every right to be angry. And if you want to find the men that did this, I will do everything in my power to see that you get your wish."

She smiled, but it was mirthless. "Good."

- _excerpt from The Official Story of Inquisitor Lavellan, as Told by Those Closest to Her by Cassandra Pentaghast_


	4. Chapter 4

Haven

 **Cassandra-**

I preferred to stay near the soldiers at Haven. I was comfortable there, more so than in the tavern or the chantry. Commander Cullen and I frequently discussed training, troop movements, techniques, etc. Inevitably we discussed Lavellan as well, on more than one occasion. The first time he talked to me about her was after we observed some formation exercises, about two weeks after she'd first arrived.

"Did you know she came and talked to me the other day? Without any real objective? She just… wanted to talk," he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

I laughed at that. "Is it so hard to believe she does more than shoot people with arrows and close rifts?"

"No, it's just- well, I don't know. I didn't expect her to be so friendly. From what I've heard about her in the field, I was expecting more of a… firebrand, I suppose."

"She is very much a firebrand, Commander. Just yesterday she threatened to send a bunch of refugees into the Fade for harassing a halla."

"That's… wait, she can't do that, can she?"

"Not that I am aware of, no. And I would think that if she tried, one of us would stop her."

The Commander said nothing for a moment, just watched his troops training. "She said she… actually, never mind." I looked at him with surprise. He was no longer looking at his troops, but sideways, toward the frozen waters in the valley.

"Cullen? Did she… threaten you?" I knew it was unlikely, but he seemed so embarrassed I couldn't imagine what else it could be.

"No! No, nothing like that. It's nothing, I just- well, she's nicer than I expected. That's all."

"Cullen," I said flatly. I stared at him until he made eye contact with me. "If this is about her heritage, I assure you not all Dalish are savages."

"No, Cassandra, it's not about that at all." He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "I'm just rambling. I thought she would be different is all."

 _-excerpt from The Official Story of Inquisitor Lavellan, as Told by Those Closest to Her by Cassandra Pentaghast_

Val Royeaux

 **Varric-**

"Vale royu."

"No."

"Val… royux."

"No." At this point Cassandra was thoroughly irritated with the Herald. One more straw and I thought she might hit her.

"She's doing it on purpose, Seeker," I interjected with a laugh. "You know how to pronounce Val Royeaux, Twigs, I've heard you say it."

"I refuse to acknowledge it. Why are there so many vowels? Shem nonsense." The elf shook her head and sighed in frustration. "Ridiculous. I barely even want to go to Vale Roh-yux, it sounds awful. Leliana even made me put on shoes. 'Nice shoes,' she said." Her mimicry was surprisingly on-point. "Well sorry if I like to feel the grass on my feet."

"You cannot go to Val Royeaux barefoot, Lavellan." Cassandra stopped walking and looked at her. "I do not enjoy Orlais or its politics either, but we put up with them because we must. Making an enemy of Orlais will end us before we even begin, and we must impress the Chantry if we have any hope of restoring order."

The Herald considered this for a moment, then looked pointedly at Solas. "He doesn't have to wear shoes."

"I do not have to impress the Chantry, Lavellan." Solas paused as well, smiling slightly at Yvelle. "I plan to stay back, out of sight. My presence would not help you even if I were in full Orlesian finery. An elven apostate is hardly the company the Herald of Andraste should keep."

"Then why are you even here…?" She grumbled, shaking her head. If he heard her, he ignored it. "Whatever, fine. Where are these Chantry people I needed to wear shoes for?"

"Maker have mercy…" Cassandra walked a few paces behind Lavellan, shaking her head and staring at the ground. We were lucky Josephine didn't come with us, I think she would have had a stroke.

As soon as we passed through the city gates one of our scouts raced up to us and took a knee before Cassandra and Lavellan. Apparently the Chantry representatives brought Templars with them, 'for protection.' That got Yvelle smiling. "We're going to fight them. Right?"

"No, Herald, we're not going to fight them." Cassandra said, sighing. "I didn't expect the Templars to make an appearance. But I know Lord Seeker Lucius, and I can't imagine him coming to the Chantry's defense, not after all that's occurred." She sent the scout back to Haven to warn them we might be late coming back.

Citizens, nobles and peasants alike, filled the marketplace with Orlesian chatter, creating a thick throng for us to push through as we approached the central stage. There were several Chantry sisters there, as well as templars protecting them.

"Good people of Val Royeaux, hear me!" The crowd quieted, and all eyes turned to the sister -and to us. Solas, true to his word, had stayed out of sight. "Together we mourn our Divine, her naive and beautiful heart silenced by treachery! You wonder what will become of her murderer. Well, wonder no more!" She gestured to Lavellan, whose brow furrowed with annoyance. "Behold the so-called Herald of Andraste! Claiming to rise where our beloved fell. We say this is a false prophet! The maker would send no ielf/i in our hour of need!"

That comment got the Herald particularly angry, for obvious reasons, and I swear I saw her start to steam. "I make no such claim! I wasn't sent here by Andraste or the Maker! All I want is to close the breach."

"It's true," that was apparently good enough for Cassandra, who spoke up over the crowd. "The Inquisition seeks only to end this madness before it is too late."

"It is already too late," the sister announced, pointing toward the street. We heard the sound of clanging armor, heavy footsteps approaching the stage, and turned to see a group of Seekers and Templars, led by a man we would later come to know as Seeker Lucius. "The Templars have returned to the Chantry! They will face this Inquisition, and the people will be safe once more!" But Lucius walked right past her, ignoring her completely as he took the center of the stage. One of his cronies saw the shock on the Sister's face, and before she could speak, hit her so hard she collapsed to the ground.

"What's the meaning of this?!" Yvelle's voice was simultaneously confused and outraged. She took a step forward, reaching for her weapon. Cassandra grabbed her by the arm and violently pulled her back, hissing at her to stay still.

"Her claim to authority is an insult, much like your own." The Lord Seeker offered no other explanation, and immediately turned to leave.

The crowd parted as Cassandra attempted to follow him. "Lord Seeker Lucius, it is imperative that we speak with-"

"You will not address me."

"Lord Seeker?"

"Creating a heretical movement, raising up a puppet as Andraste's prophet. You should be ashamed." He shook his head and looked back over the crowd. "You should all be ashamed! The Templars failed no one when they left the Chantry to purge the mages!" He pointed at us: Cassandra, Yvelle, and I. "You are the ones who have failed. You who'd leash our righteous swords with doubt and fear. If you came to appeal to the Chantry, you are too late. The only destiny here that demands respect is mine."

"That doesn't even make sense! We just came here to make an alliance so I can seal the giant green asshole in the sky!" I couldn't help but snort at that- Yvelle certainly had a way with words. Cassandra covered her face and turned away slightly.

"Oh, the Breach is indeed a threat. But you certainly have no power to do anything about it."

Yvelle let the mark on her hand crackle, and started moving forward again. "What is this thing, then?!"

Another templar stepped between them, addressing the Lord Seeker. "But… what if she really was sent by the Maker? What if-"

Lucius looked between them, then back out over the crowd. "You are called to a higher purpose, Ser Barris. Do not question. I will make the Templar Order a power that stands alone against the void. We deserve recognition, independence! You have shown me nothing, and the Inquisition… less than nothing. Templars! Val Royeaux is unworthy of our protection. We march!"

"Fine!" Yvelle shouted. "Then we'll protect Val Royeaux while you sit on your ass in some castle somewhere!" We didn't really have the power to do that yet, but it got the people whispering.

She bristled, face scrunched in anger, the mark on her hand flickering a bright, sickening green.

"See, Twigs? I knew you could pronounce it."

She looked at me, took a deep breath, and deflated a bit. "We… have a lot of work to do."

 _-excerpt from The Official Story of Inquisitor Lavellan, as Told by Those Closest to Her by Varric Tethras_

A Soiree

 **Vivienne-**

I am told Lady Montilyet and Seeker Pentaghast had a difficult time allowing the Herald to attend my soiree on her own. I was dying to meet this so-called Herald of Andraste, and I needed to know what she was like without her more established wranglers. This woman had the potential to change everything, and I wanted to meet her without her words being censored by more level heads.

I watched as she entered the vestibule, eyes darting about like a hunted beast. Two of my guests stopped to talk to her at the base of the stairs, and she straightened immediately -I have a hunch that Lady Montilyet gave her a few pointers about Orlesian court before she left from Haven. "I have heard the most curious tales of you." One of the nobles said, her voice upbeat and welcoming. "I cannot imagine half of them are true."

"Uh... it depends on what they are," Lavellan replied, watching the woman warily.

"Some say that when the veil opened, Andraste herself delivered you from the Fade," my guest was polite and enthusiastic, an easy conversationalist and relatively forthright considering we were still in Orlais.

"Some of those storytellers may have gotten carried away..."

"But only for the best effect! The Inquisition is a ripe subject for wild tales." I watched from an upper floor balcony, carefully monitoring the situation.

As if on cue, another of my guests, a very outspoken marquis, descended the stairwell. "The Inquisition! What a load of pig shit!" Lavellan turned to him, a bit shocked before settling into blatant irritation. At least the Herald of Andraste would not passively ignore her critics. "Washed-up sisters and crazed Seekers? No one can take them seriously. Everyone knows it's just an excuse for a bunch of political outcasts to grab power."

Yvelle crossed her arms, scowling. "It's a good thing no one gives a shit what you think." I covered my mouth at that and blinked. Oh, my. "We're going to restore peace and fix this mess whether anyone else approves or not."

"Oh, here comes the outsider, an elf no less, restoring peace with an army! We know what your 'Inquisition' truly is. If you were a woman of honor, you'd step outside and answer the charges." He stepped close to her, and she reacted by pushing him back. Physically pushing him. With her hands.

"Is that a threat? You want to take this outside? Let's make a bet: I bet I can riddle you with arrows before you even draw your blade." She reached for her bow as he went for the sword at his back. Before this could get any more out of hand, I froze him where he stood.

"My dear Marquis, how unkind of you to use such language in my house... to my guests." I made my entrance then, sizing up the Herald properly as I approached her. She was the polar opposite of her sister- where Ellian was cautious, charming, and elegant, Yvelle was brash, coarse, and unflinchingly honest. "You know such rudeness is... intolerable."

"Madame Vivienne... I humbly beg your pardon." The Marquis gasped, my cold spell obviously crushing his internal organs. Yvelle stiffened a bit, watching carefully.

"You should. Whatever am I going to do with you, my dear?" I turned to Lavellan, giving her the choice. "My lady, you're the wounded party in this unfortunate affair. What would you have me do with this foolish, foolish man?"

She shifted her weight, frowning, considering her options. "I don't care. I don't even know who he is."

I released him, but only after thoroughly tearing him apart before the guests. Social disaster or not, the Herald was my true interest, and he would be punished for insulting her. "You have your life, my dear. Do be more careful with it." I sighed as he ran off, then turned to Lavellan with a smile. "I'm so glad you were able to attend this little gathering, my dear. I've so wanted to meet you. Come, let us chat somewhere more private." I led her upstairs, by an open window on the second floor so she could have some fresh air. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am Vivienne, First Enchanter of Montsimmard and Enchantress to the Imperial Court."

"Nice to meet you," Yvelle said, giving a short bow. "I am Yvelle Lavellan, of Clan Lavellan of the Free Marches."

"Lavellan? Red hair, amber eyes, tanned skin... you wouldn't happen to be related to Ellian Lavellan, would you?"

"I am her sister," she said carefully, eyes narrowing a bit in worry. "Did you... know her?"

I nodded sadly. "She was an incredible woman. A testament to the adaptability and inner strength of your people. I had the pleasure of meeting her during a soiree last year. She was so witty, and so bright." I reached out and gently took the Herald's hand. "I am deeply sorry she is gone. Thedas lost many bright lights that day, and her loss has left the world all the poorer."

She smiled softly and finally met my eyes. "I loved her. We didn't really get along, but... she would have been so much better at this than me," she chuckled lightly and shook her head. "It is so... nice, to meet someone else who knew her. Who knew how special she was." She paused then, expression turning to one of sad nostalgia. "Did you know she was First to our Keeper? She was an unbelievably talented mage. I don't know how familiar you are with our customs, but most Dalish receive their Vallaslin -the tattoos on our faces- around age 18. She was so talented beyond her years that she earned hers at only 15, and she was named First just a year later." I squeezed her hand slightly and she blushed, pulling away. "Fenedhis, I'm so sorry! I was rambling."

I laughed and shook my head. "It's fine, darling. You must let yourself grieve, or you'll never be able to move past losing her. It is natural to want to talk about her life. Talking about the ones we lose is what keeps them alive. Now, my dear... about your Inquisition. With Divine Justinia dead, the Chantry is in shambles. As the leader of the last loyal mages of Thedas, I feel it only right that I lend my assistance to your cause."

"You want to join us? Even after the mess I made with the marquis?"

"My dear, you are a work in progress," I chuckled and she smiled awkwardly, embarrassed. "But that was the marquis's own doing. In time, I can teach you to be more... tactful in your dealings with nobility."

"Haha... are you sure you're up to the challenge? Cassandra said I was 'essentially as tame as a wolf with rabies.'" She mimicked the Seeker's voice, and I couldn't help but laugh. It was a very good impression.

"Yes, my dear, you have potential. I can work with potential." Besides, I saw no harm in being on the side of a rabid wolf so long as it never bit me.

 _-excerpt from My Time with the Inquisitor by Grand Enchanter Vivienne of the Circle of Magi_


	5. Chapter 5

The Fereldan Circle of Magi, 9:30 Dragon

 **Eirwen Surana-**

It was today. The Harrowing, my Harrowing. I knew it would be soon, and I was prepared, but there's a difference between being prepared and being iready/i.

I awoke to the clang of armor, and I slowly sat up to see a templar waiting by the doorway. I'd been waiting for this. I'd lived in this tower my whole life, but only today was I able to prove I belong.

They brought me to a wide, circular room, already filled with templars. I saw Cullen there, and immediately felt my heart sink. It wasn't kind to do that, but I know it was for a good reason. Mages and templars aren't really supposed to be friends, much less whatever Cullen and I are. It's not safe, because if one of us gets possessed, any templar has to be able to put us down.

In the center of the room was a font of pure lyrium, used to help me enter the Fade. Before the ceremony started, First Enchanter Iriving took me aside. He said he had no reason to believe I would fail, and that he felt confident I would exceed expectations. I'm not sure he knew how much pressure that would put on me, haha. I don't try to stand out in the Circle, I don't really feel it's my place. I mostly just spend time with Jowan or Lily or Cullen when I can, and I think it's more important to learn than to try and make a scene. So Irving's faith in me felt a little misplaced.

Knight-Commander Greagoir said it was time, and Irving left me to take the lyrium myself. I didn't look at Cullen before I did it, in case I didn't come back. My hands shook as I reached it, and as soon as my fingers touched the glowing blue liquid, light exploded around me.

The Fade was so much uglier than I expected. Of course, I'd seen it in my dreams, but it was different from this. In my dreams it would be a forest, or a place in the tower. Sometimes my friends would be there, and I dreamed about talking cats on several occasions. This was… not right. i(There's something crossed out here, but the words underneath can still be understood: "I wish I wasn't alone there")/i The architecture was all twisted and strange, and when I looked off into the distance I saw the black city, all angry spires and sharp spikes against the horizon.

Other mages had told me what to expect from my Harrowing, and I knew to be wary of anyone I met in the Fade. My job was to prove I wouldn't let anything possess me, and that I was strong enough to fend off any demon that tried.

The first living thing I saw in the Fade was a glowing wisp. I approached it carefully, and tried to make it talk to me. But instead it shot a lightning bolt that I narrowed avoided. I took care of it quickly and kept walking.

I met a mouse in the Fade. It talked to me, told me that the Harrowing wasn't right. I didn't agree though- I understand why we have the Harrowing, and though I wish it weren't so scary I think it makes sense. Then the mouse became a person, and explained to me that I could look however I wanted in the Fade. He talked about "his" own Harrowing, about how the templars did to him exactly what was done to me.

But then he said something that scared me: "they kill you if you take too long." I didn't know that. I thought you only died if you became possessed. Immediately I felt scared, and I looked around. I needed to survive this, I needed some solution -and fast. The mouse said he'd died, and been trapped in the Fade because he had no body to return to. I couldn't be like him- I had to escape. Supposedly there was a mighty demon here, one I would need to kill in order to survive.

I found another being there, a Valor spirit in templar armor. He condemned the Harrowing as well, but instead advocated for pitting us against each other. Um, no. That sounded a lot worse. He told me he would give me a weapon if I defeated him in battle. I managed to talk him out of it, and told him he should help me fight the demon instead. He gave me a staff without having to fight him, and sent me on my way.

Further along I met a sloth demon. He looked like a bear, essentially, but had all these spiky growths coming out of him, and his fur was ragged and tore off in places -revealing the sickly purple skin underneath. He was very clear that we didn't interest him, but Mouse insisted he could help. He thought the sloth demon could teach me how to shift into a bear, which didn't sound very appealing to me -especially not if it involved having to spend any more time around a demon.

But the sloth demon had another idea. He said it would be better to teach Mouse his form, but only if I could answer three riddles correctly. I agreed, and if I remember right, they went something like this:

1\. I have seas with no water, coasts with no sand, towns without people, mountains without land. What am I? A map, I said.

2\. I'm rarely touched, but often held. If you have wit, you'll use me well. What am I? I had to think about this a while longer, but I figured it out- a tongue!

3\. Often will I tell a tale, never will I charge a fee. I'll amuse you an entire eve, but, alas, you won't remember me. What am I? That was the easiest one, much to my relief. A dream.

So he agreed to teach Mouse his form, and Mouse became a bear. I felt good then, I felt like we really had a chance. We hurried along the path, and finally met our monster -a rage demon, red and gelatinous and glowing. I was ready to fight it, but then it said something curious. It asked Mouse if I was the "offering," and Mouse said he no longer needed to serve the demon. I stepped away from both of them, feeling my chest tighten and heart race. This couldn't be right. Mouse was supposed to help me. The rage demon attacked and even though Mouse fought beside me, I no longer trusted him.

We finished the demon off easily, but it felt wrong. He started saying I was a true mage, that I could be more than what I was. My heart sank, and I gripped my staff until my knuckles turned white. "You are my test- you're the demon," I told him.

He laughed and grew into a massive monster -a pride demon. I expected to have to fight him, but instead he vanished into the Fade, with one last message: true tests never end.

 _-excerpt from a tattered notebook found in the Fereldan Circle_

Val Royeaux, 9:40 Dragon

 **Cassandra-**

We had to get back to Skyhold as soon as possible. Leliana needed to know what happened with the Chantry, and I had to tell Cullen about the templars. Lavellan agreed, but before we could leave, a woman in Circle clothing stopped us.

"If I might have a moment of your time?" I recognized her as Grand Enchanter Fiona, leader of the mage rebellion. Lavellan did not seem pleased at this, but she said nothing. "I heard of this gathering," she said, "and I wanted to see the fabled Herald of Andraste with my own eyes. If it's help with the Breach you seek, perhaps my people are the wiser option."

"Why were you not at the Conclave?" I asked, feeling suspicious of her. "I understand you were supposed to be, and yet somehow you avoided death…"

"As did the Lord Seeker, you'll note. Both of us sent negotiations in our stead, in case it was a trap. I won't pretend I'm not glad to live. I lost many dear friends that day. It disgusts me to think the templars will get away with it. I'm hoping you won't let them."

"You think the templars are responsible?" Lavellan asked, obviously disbelieving.

"Lucius hardly seems broken up over his losses, if he's concerned about them at all."

"It is not so outrageous, Herald," I offered. "After the display we just saw, even I would not be surprised."

Lavellan shifted her weight and crossed her arms over her chest. "It just seems a little… far-fetched. And besides, of course the leader of the mage rebellion is going to blame the templars."

"You heard him," Fiona said, looking at the Herald. "You think he wouldn't happily kill the Divine to turn people against us?" Lavellan nodded as she considered this. "So yes, I think he did it. More than I think you did it, at any rate."

"I think it's pretty clear I didn't do this," the Herald responded, glaring at Fiona

The Grand Enchanter, to her credit, did not look even remotely intimidated. "Why not? You are an elf. And Dalish. Have you not considered how this must look to the rest of the world? An explosion kills the leaders of the Chantry, the organization that once betrayed our people and destroyed what remained, and an elf is the only survivor? An elf who bears a mark that seems not of this world?" She narrowed her eyes slightly. "It is hardly clear at all, Herald. You had cause and opportunity, and you came out of it unscathed."

Lavellan looked down at her feet and said nothing.

"In any event, consider this an invitation to Redcliffe: come meet with the mages. An alliance could help us both, after all. I hope to see you there. Au revoir, my lady Herald." Then she left, and I looked at the Herald, who was shifting her weight awkwardly and frowning.

"What?"

"It's just-" she started talking, then paused. "She's right. I'm an elf, and… and the people that think I did this are going to think it's some kind of elven conspiracy…" Her eyes widened and she shook her head. "I have to fix this. I have to make it clear that I didn't do this, and that elves didn't do this, and- fenedhis, let's just go back to Haven." She shook her head and started walking, arms wrapped around her stomach.

 _-excerpt from The Official Story of Inquisitor Lavellan, as Told by Those Closest to Her by Cassandra Pentaghast_

 ** _(The following piece is from Sapper, an agent of the Inquisition under Sister Leliana. At this time she was a simple servant in Haven, albeit one with a talent for listening that the Nightingale would one day come to make great use of.)_ -**

I first started to listen while I was running errands for Adan, our apothecary at Haven. She, the Herald, the Inquisitor, was talking to Solas, the elven apostate. Many of the people were suspicious of him, and almost as many were suspicious of her, so seeing them together naturally made me curious.

To think, the Herald of Andraste was an elf, and so was one of her closest companions. Lavellan could do such wonderful things for our people -I needed to know what she was like, because I needed her to be an example for all of us. Show them we aren't all bad, Lavellan, show them we're worthy of being treated the same as the humans.

"I get the sense that you do not like me, Lavellan," Solas started, and I perked up when I heard her name. I glanced around the corner, and saw her standing in front of him, arms crossed over her thick coat of furs.

"What gave you that idea?" But it was obvious he was right. Her eyes were narrow, and her face was scrunched like she smelled something foul.

"Well, you've repeatedly asked why I am here. And when I asked you to help me during our fight against the rebel mages in the Hinterlands, you went into stealth position and ran to the other side of the cave."

"That time was an accident."

"Of course. iThat/i time. But I feel that if I am going to be working with you, we should at least try to get along," he sounded so patient, and she so angry. Maker, I wish it were the other way around.

"Fine, we'll get along," she said flatly, staring him down. There was a long silence, and then he sighed.

"Is it because I am a mage, Lavellan?"

"No! Ugh, why is it always about that? It's not because you're a mage, Solas, it's because you're an arrogant asshole." I held back a snort, and then quickly ducked back behind the side of the building.

"Arrogant? Lavellan, need I remind you, you are the one who has repeatedly told our human allies that elves are inherently better at everything from magic to hunting to writing poetry. If anyone here is arrogant, it is iyou/i." I heard his voice change- he was irritated now, though his words were still slow and level.

"Me?! But I'm right!"

He groaned, but kept his voice low. "That's what I mean, Lavellan! You think you have seen so much, that what you have been taught is all there is, but you have no idea how insular your world was before you stepped out of the Fade!"

"You- you're an apostate who lives in the freaking mountains! Who are you to say I'm ignorant?"

He started to speak, then stopped and took a deep breath. "It is true, I do not spend much time in modern human society." His voice was calmer now, and quieter. "But I have seen things in the Fade that would shake your understanding of this world to its very foundations. Your people are simultaneously so much more and so much less than you know."

She was quiet then, thinking. And when she spoke again, her voice was gentler too. "Then show me."

"Show you? What do you mean?" He sounded hesitant, but hopeful that he might have found a way to crack her ignorance.

"I want to believe we're right. But..." She sighed. "But we might not be. It's been thousands of years. Perhaps we've forgotten things, important things. And if the answers are there, in the Fade, then I want them." I glanced around the corner to see her shrug. "I mean, it's right there. The Fade. And apparently I walked out of it. I thought only Magisters could do that."

"Evidently not, da'len. Very well, I will show you what I can." He paused, hesitating before going on. "But not right now; give me time to find what would be best to show you. Until then, I can try to answer your questions."

She shifted, just enough that her gaze nearly fell on me. I gasped and jolted back into my spot. She didn't say anything, and I didn't hear her come closer- good, she still didn't know where I was.

"Well... what do you know about Arlathan? My Keeper would speak of it with so much respect. Like it was a great paradise."

"Your Keeper may have spoken of the ancient elves living in trees as well, with wooden ramps and aravels. But imagine instead spires of crystal twining through the branches, palaces floating among the clouds. Imagine beings who lived forever, for whom magic was as natural as breathing. That is what was lost." It sounded incredible.

"How? How could something so amazing be lost to time?" There was wonder now in her voice, but still a shred of skepticism. She was trying, but still struggling to set aside the stories she'd been told were the truth.

"As you said, it has been thousands of years. When our empire fell, many of our wonders fell with it."

"That's not really an answer."

"You said you wanted to see for yourself, so perhaps some things should be left for your eyes." There was laughter in his voice now, almost playfulness. "In time, da'len."

 _-excerpt from All New, Faded For Her: Impressions of the Relationship between Inquisitor Yvelle Lavellan and the Dread Wolf, compiled by Elia Morn, Agent of the Inquisition_


	6. Chapter 6

Haven

 **Cassandra-**

"It's good you returned… we heard of your encounter." Josephine greeted Lavellan and I as soon as we returned to Haven.

"You heard?" I asked, already concerned.

"With the weird elf girl, or with the shithead Seeker?" Yvelle was honest- if never very respectful.

"The Seeker. My agents in the city sent word ahead, of course," Leliana said.

"Of course," Yvelle repeated, smirking at me. I rolled my eyes at her and did not dignify that with any further response.

Cullen crossed his arms over his chestplate. "It's a shame the templars abandoned their senses, as well as the capital…"

"I still think we should have fought them," Lavellan said with a shrug. "I like fighting. I'm good at that."

"We cannot solve every problem we have by sticking an arrow in it, Lady Lavellan." It seemed our ambassador cringed every time Lavellan spoke.

"Lord Seeker Lucius is not the man I remember," I said, trying to put our focus back on the matter at hand.

"He has taken the Order somewhere, but to do what…?" Leliana looked at the floor before shaking her head. "My reports have been… very odd."

"We must look into it," Cullen replied, insistent that we remain focused on the templars for obvious reasons. "I'm certain not everyone in the Order will support the Lord Seeker."

"Or… the Herald could simply go to meet the mages in Redcliffe, instead." Josephine offered tentatively.

Cullen stopped and turned to face her. "You think the mage rebellion is more united? It could be ten times worse."

"Just stop bickering and pick someone," Lavellan interrupted, her voice flat and agitated. I agreed with her, for once.

"We shouldn't discount Redcliffe," Josephine sounded careful. "The mages may be worth the risk."

"They are powerful, ambassador, but more desperate than you realize." I said. I always thought the templars a safer option, even if we knew the mages were more likely to work. I trusted our Commander, and was more familiar with trustworthy templars than trustworthy mages.

Lavellan squinted at me, curious. "You think it's some kind of trap?"

"If some among the rebel mages were responsible for what happened at the Conclave-"

Josephine cut in. "The same could be said about the templars."

"True enough," evidently Cullen was as sick of the arguing as Lavellan and I were. "Right now I'm not sure we have enough influence to approach the Order safely."

"Then the Inquisition needs agents in more places. That's something you can help with," I said to Lavellan, who also looked bored. Josephine and Cullen left after a brief bit of planning, but Leliana stayed behind.

"There is one other matter," she started, stepping closer to us and lowering her voice. "Several months ago, the Grey Wardens of Fereldan vanished. I sent word to those in Orlais, but they have also disappeared. Ordinarily, I would never even consider they could be involved in all this, but the timing is… curious."

Lavellan answered Leliana with a blank stare. I sighed and shook my head. "It is suspicious, Leliana. But what can we do about it now?"

"The others have disregarded my suspicions, but I cannot ignore it. Two days ago, my agents in the Hinterlands heard news of a Grey Warden by the name of Blackwall. If you have the opportunity, please seek him out. Perhaps he can put my mind at ease."

Lavellan thought on this for a moment, then said: "and… if he can't?"

"Then there may be more going on than we thought."

The Hinterlands

 **Varric-**

Lavellan must have hashed things out with Solas back at Haven, because she seemed much better at tolerating his presence the next time we went looking for trouble. It was impressive, really -she actually backed him up while we were fighting, and fired an impressive shot straight through the eye of a particularly aggressive templar. I congratulated her on it, and Cassandra said it was "gruesome." Solas, to his credit, thanked her for the assistance.

We'd been sent to the Hinterlands to search for a man by the name of Blackwall, a Grey Warden. Always a cheery bunch. Supposedly he was training near one of our camps, which I'd taken to mean he was training himself, but no- when we found him he was putting together a ragtag group of farmboys to fend off some thieves.

Yvelle was obviously excited to meet a Warden -I knew from talking to her about the Hero of Fereldan that she held them in high regard, and she admitted to me that as a kid she'd considered finding some way to join them. She ran ahead of us, then stopped when she saw him: a man in heavy armor, shouting valiantly and gesturing with a glimmering sword.

"Blackwall? Warden Blackwall?" She called.

"You're not- how do you know my name? Who sent y- agh!" An arrow flew for the Herald's head, and, acting on pure instinct, he raised his shield to protect her. Without any idea of who she was, even if she was friend or foe, he saved her life. "That's it. Help or get out, we're dealing with these idiots first."

Yvelle hesitated, apparently a bit embarrassed that she nearly died because she wasn't paying attention to her surroundings. But she quickly steeled herself, nodded, and drew her bow.

The battle was swift and decisive. The four of us about doubled their forces, and our adversaries were just bandits anyway. I don't think they were prepared to face Blackwall, much less two ranged attackers, a mage, and Cassandra.

He stuck his sword in the ground as he approached his 'men.' "Alright, conscripts, even if this shouldn't have happened, you could've- well, thieves are made, not born. Take back what they stole. Go back to your families- you saved yourselves." As the farmboys left, he turned to us. To Yvelle, more specifically. "You're no farmer. How do you know my name? Who are you?"

"You just- you saved my life!" She was ecstatic.

"That's... what we do. Now who are you?" Blackwall was less pleased.

"We're Inquisition," Cassandra said, cutting in before Yvelle made us look any more ridiculous. "We're trying to find out why the Wardens disappeared and if it had anything to do with the Divine's murder."

"Maker's balls," he said -a blaspheme which only made Yvelle smile wider. She looked at me, and I gave her a pained smile. "The Wardens and the Divine? That can't -no, you're asking, so you don't really know." He looked at all of us, and I thought he seemed like he was used to giving speeches. "First off, I didn't know they disappeared. But we do that, right? No more Blight, job done, Wardens are the first thing forgotten. But one thing I'll tell you-" his voice was louder now, stronger. "No Warden killed the Divine. Our purpose isn't political."

"We're not accusing you Blackwall- Ser- um, Warden. We just wanted to know if you had any answers," Yvelle shifted her weight and picked at some peeling paint on her bow.

"I haven't seen any Wardens for months. I travel alone, recruiting. Not much interest because the Archdemon is a decade dead, and no need to conscript because there's no Blight coming. Treaties give Wardens the right to take what we need, who we need. These idiots forced this fight, so I "conscripted" their victims. They had to do what I said, so I told them to stand. Next time they won't need me." Yvelle tilted her head and smirked at that -she was a bit enamored with the Warden, but still a clever kid. She knew that sounded odd. "Grey Wardens can inspire, make you better than who you think you are." Yvelle bit her lip and considering this moving address, then asked why he hadn't gone missing like everyone else. "Well, maybe I was going to. Or maybe there's a new directive, but a runner got lost or something. My job was to recruit on my own. Planned to stay that way for months. Years." I don't think she really bought that either, but I knew she didn't expect any foul play from him.

Then she sighed and bounced on her heels a bit. "Well, as much as I appreciate all this, especially the part with the shield, this hasn't given us much to go off of. We apologize for interrupting- we'll be on our way."

She started to leave, but he called out to her. "Inquisition... agent, did you say? Hold a moment." She did, gladly. "The Divine is dead, and the sky is torn. Events like these, thinking we're absent is almost as bad as thinking we're involved. If you're trying to put things right, maybe you need a Warden. Maybe you need me."

"That sounds great and all, but what can one Grey Warden do?"

"Save the fucking world, if pressed. Look, maybe fighting demons from the sky isn't something I'm practiced at, but show me someone who is." Yvelle kept her mouth shut on that one, for once. "And like I said, there are treaties. Maybe this isn't a Blight, but it's bloody well a disaster. Some will honor them. Being a Warden means something to a lot of people."

Yvelle looked at Cassandra, and she nodded with a smile. "Warden Blackwall, the Inquisition accepts your offer."

"Good to hear. We both need to know what's going on, and perhaps I've been keeping to myself for too long. This Warden walks with the Inquisition."

 _-excerpt from The Official Story of Inquisitor Lavellan, as Told by Those Closest to Her by Varric Tethras_

Haven

 **Leliana-**

As time went on, Lavellan became more comfortable at Haven. She still wore that awful Avvar suit, but she made conversation more easily with people who weren't Varric. It was good to see her getting along better with Solas and Cassandra- she would need good companions in the trials to come.

Still, she rarely spoke with me. I would later found I intimidated her, which I suppose is not surprising. I was very busy anyway, and had little time to spare for idle chats. It was only the second time we spoke one-on-one at Haven that I discovered what kind of leader she would be. In retrospect, that moment was the best prediction of what was to come than any other.

She approached me while I was speaking with one of my agents. Given the way she was holding her bow, I thought she might be about to ask something archery-related. But she paused when she heard what we were discussing, and stood just inside my tent. "So it's true... Butler has turned on us." I remember the regret I felt then- and how it seems so distant now that I ever could have hesitated. "I'd hoped my hunch was wrong."

"You knew him well?" My agent asked.

"Not as well as I thought... show me the reports." I took the papers and skimmed them quickly. "There were so many questions surrounding Farrier's death. Did he think we wouldn't notice? He's killed Farrier, one of my best agents -and knows where the others are." I shook my head. "You know what must be done. Make it clean, painless if you can. We were friends once..."

Yvelle was leaning against a post, and spoke up then. "You were friends?"

I looked at her. "Yes. We worked together for a time. I was... glad, when he joined us."

"And now he's betrayed us? You're sure? There's no question?"

I nodded and sighed. "The reports are quite clear."

She was silent for a moment. "That is the cruelest kind of betrayal. For a friend to disregard your trust?" She bit her lip, then met my eyes. "Good. I'm glad you're able to make that decision quickly. No mercy- not even for old friends."

"We must do whatever it takes to protect our interest," I replied with a smirk. "I am pleased that you agree."

"Of course. I'm glad you can do that- it's your job, right? I... am not sure I'd make the same choice, in your place, but only because I don't know if I could." She shrugged. "But it's right. We have to make tough choices if we're going to close the Breach. It's good to know you're capable of that." She turned to leave, then stopped. "Oh, and, um... I have a question for you."

"What is it?"

"Well... you knew the Hero of Ferelden, right?"

"Yes..." Admittedly, she wasn't my favorite subject to discuss. Thinking of her reminded me of when I was a very different person, one I am not so fond of now.

"Did you ever see her again? After the Coronation?"

I sighed. It was a question I'd answered many times before, but I could not fault her for her ignorance. "No. It is just as the stories say- she turned into a cat and ran away. For all I know, she's still a cat, and doesn't even remember being human."

"That sounds so sad. Could you imagine?" My brow furrowed, and she went on quickly. "Just- losing everything like that? Even your own... even wanting to be a person?" She stopped and shook her head. "Sorry- I don't mean to trouble you. She's just- interesting to me, is all."

I hesitated before the next bit, but I decided to risk the question. "Because she was an elf?"

Lavellan nodded. "From the stories I heard, she always stood up for our people. She even told the Queen she wanted land to be given back to us instead of any kind of personal glory. It didn't work, but... it was a kind gesture."

"I understand, Herald. Should I hear anything more of her, I will let you know."

"Right, yes... do that." She stayed a moment longer, then quickly turned and left.

 _-excerpt from The Official Story of Inquisitor Lavellan, as Told by Those Closest to Her by Sister Leliana_

Cassandra-

"But Varric said-"

"Varric is a liar, Herald. I have never done that, and I never plan to." Lavellan followed me out of the chantry, having just finished a meeting in the War Room.

"Not even before you were a Seeker? What else do you use it for?"

I stopped short and turned around quickly, causing her to back up and nearly trip over her own feet. "This conversation is over, Lavellan. I will have words with Varric about this, it is completely inappropriate."

She sighed and shrugged. "Fine. But you'll have to talk to Sera too, because it was a three-way conversation."

"Ugh, I do not know why I let you recruit her-"

"Excuse me? I hate to interrupt, but I've got a message for the Inquisition and I'm having a hard time getting anyone to talk to me." I stopped and turned toward a young man in heavy armor, waiting just outside the doors. When he spoke I thought he sounded Tevinter.

"What's the message?" The Herald asked, looking relieved that I was no longer focused on her.

"We got word of some Tevinter mercenaries gathering on the Storm Coast. My company commander, Iron Bull, offers the information free of charge. If you'd like to see what the Bull's Chargers can do for the Inquisition, meet us there and watch us work."

Lavellan opened her mouth, closed it, then opened it again. "I have so many questions. Like, what kind of name is Iron Bull and why is he giving us this information? Why do we care about Tevinter mercenaries on the Storm Coast? Why are you called the- oh, haha, I got that one, never mind." She looked at me with a grin. "Iron Bull's Chargers. Because what do bulls do?"

I glared at her. "Lavellan-"

"They charge."

"Ugh." She laughed and I rolled my eyes, turning back to the mercenary. "Thank you, ser, but why would we need mercenaries? What do the Chargers offer the Inquisition?"

"We're loyal, we're tough, and we don't break contracts. Ask around Val Royeaux, we've got references," he replied. Evidently, he was also patient with the Herald's nonsense.

"And who is this 'Iron Bull'?"

"He's one of those Qunari. The big guys with the horns? He leads from the front, he pays well, and he's a lot smarter than the last bastard I worked for."

I raised my eyebrows. "You speak very highly of him."

The man shrugged. "He's good. And professional -we accept contracts with whoever makes the first real offer. You're the first time he's gone out of his way to pick a side."

"But... why?" Lavellan asked, having evidently decided to be an adult again.

"He wants to work for the Inquisition. He thinks you're doing good work."

I considered this and nodded. "Thank you, ser. We look forward to meeting this... Iron Bull."

"We're the best you'll find. Come to the Storm Coast, and you can see us in action."

 _-excerpt from The Official Story of Inquisitor Lavellan, as Told by Those Closest to Her by Cassandra Pentaghast_


	7. Chapter 7

The Storm Coast

 **Cassandra-**

I warned Lavellan about the Storm Coast, but apparently she didn't believe me when I said it would likely be pouring rain. So the best she brought was a light hood, and she shivered and sniffled and wiped water out of her eyes the entire trip.

"You Dalish live out in nature, how are you not better prepared for rain?" Varric asked, walking beside her a few paces ahead of Solas and I.

"Ugh," she sniffled again. "It doesn't rain very much at home, and when it does the storm is always pretty short. Not like this." She hugged her thin torso and groaned. We kept walking, heading down a steep hill toward the beach. "Hey Solas," she said, glancing at him over her shoulder. "Can't you use some magic to fix this?"

He smiled slightly and furrowed his brows. "Unfortunately that is beyond my abilities, Herald."

She groaned. "We need to get you better abilities, then. I swear, if I were a mage the first thing I'd learn how to do is control the weather. Wait… hmm…" She stopped walking and glanced up at the sky. "I wonder if-"

Solas interrupted her. "No, you cannot use your mark to banish the storm into the Fade."

"Hey! How did you know I was going to say that?" We'd started walking again, more carefully now.

"So far that has been your answer to everything, da'len."

"No mind reading, you hear?"

"That is also beyond my abilities."

She stopped again and took a breath like she was going to say something, but instead she gasped as she lost her footing and slid all the way to the beach. She managed to roll over completely, and let out a small shriek when she hit the bottom. Naturally Varric found it hilarious.

"Herald!" I called, carefully sliding down after her. "Lavellan, are you alright?" I put my hand on her back, then let her take my arm as I pulled her to her feet. "You have to be more careful."

"Or you could've just sent the hill into the Fade," Solas offered from behind us, making Varric laugh even harder.

"Shut up, Solas," she mumbled, wiping sand off her armor. Thankfully we could hear fighting nearby, exactly where Cremisius had told us the Chargers would be. The Herald stretched and shook herself as we approached, but our assistance wasn't necessary. By the time we reached them the fighting was over.

"Chargers, stand down!" A massive man with horns was in the middle of it all -the Iron Bull, I assumed. "Krem! How'd we do?"

Varric whistled quietly: "Andraste's ass, I forgot how big Qunari are…"

"Five or six wounded, chief. No dead."

"That's what I like to hear. Let the throatcutters finish up, then break out the casks."

Lavellan shuddered, and I looked at her questioningly. "'Throatcutters' sounds like a nasty position," she said, cringing. "It's not fun when it's up close." I urged her forward to meet the Bull, and she stood up a little straighter.

"So you're with the Inquisition, huh? Glad you could make it. Come on, have a seat. Drinks are coming," Lavellan looked at me and I shrugged, so we both followed him to a wet rock that would serve as a chair. "I assume you remember Cremisius Aclassi, my lieutenant."

"Good to see you again," Cremisius said with a curt nod. "Throatcutters are done, chief."

"Already? Have 'em check again. I don't want any of those Tevinter bastards getting away. No offense, Krem."

"None taken. 'Least a bastard knows who his mother was," Cremisius shrugged and started to walk away. "Puts him one up on you Qunari, right?"

"So," the Bull started again. "You've seen us fight. We're expensive, but we're worth it… and I'm sure the Inquisition can afford us."

"The Chargers seem like an excellent company," I replied, a bit wary. Something seemed off about this, though I was not sure what.

"They are, but you're not just getting the boys. You're getting me," he smiled and pointed at Lavellan. "Herald of Andraste, right?"

She nodded. "How did you…?"

"Red-haired elf with dark skin and a big bow? Glowing hand? You're easy to spot. And you need a frontline bodyguard -I'm your man. Whatever it is- demons, dragons? The bigger the better." He stood then, leading us toward the shore. "And there's one other thing. Might be useful, might piss you off. Ever hear of the Ben-Hassreth?" The Herald should her head.

"They're a Qunari organization, yes? The equivalent of their guards and city watch?" I offered.

"I'd go closer to 'spies,' but yeah, that's them." Lavellan frowned at that and eyed him suspiciously. "Or, well, us. The Ben-Hassreth are concerned about the Breach. Magic out of control like that could cause trouble everywhere. I've been ordered to join the Inquisition, get close to the people in charge, and send reports on what's happening. But I also get reports from Ben-Hassreth agents all over Orlais. You sign me on, I'll share them with your people."

I blinked, shocked that he would just say that. "You're a Qunari spy and you just… told us?"

"Whatever happened at that Conclave thing, it's bad. Someone needs to get that Breach closed. So whatever I am, I'm on your side."

"But you still could've hidden it…"

"From something called the Inquisition?" He laughed quietly. "I'd have been tipped sooner or later. Better you hear it right up front from me."

"And what would be the contents of these reports?" The Herald asked before sniffling again.

"Enough to keep my superiors happy. Nothing that'll compromise your operations. The Qunari want to know if they need to launch an invasion to stop the whole damn world from falling apart."

Yvelle's eyes widened. "So… basically we let you in, or the Qunari invade southern Thedas?"

Bull sighed heavily. "That's not what I meant. I just want to make it clear to you that I'd only be sending positive things. You're working to restore order. I respect that, and I need my superiors to know for sure that everything is going as planned. You let me send word of what you're doing, it'll put some minds at ease. That's good for everyone."

Lavellan and I looked at each other. After some hesitation she shrugged, and I looked back at Bull. "You run your reports past our spymaster before sending them. You send nothing she does not approve."

The Herald nodded. "If your reports compromise the Inquisition in any way, Cassandra here will eat you alive." She nudged me with her elbow, and I glared at her in response.

"Wouldn't have it any other way," he said with a laugh. "Krem, tell the men to finish drinking on the road. The Chargers just got hired!"

"What about the casks, chief?" Krem called back. "We just opened them up. With axes."

"Find some way to seal them. You're Tevinter, right? Try blood magic."

 _-excerpt from The Official Story of Inquisitor Lavellan, as Told by Those Closest to Her by Cassandra Pentaghast_

Haven

 **Thom Rainier-**

 _(Begins with a series of scribbled out lines, messily scratched out until there's nothing left to discern)_

I know what the stories will say about the Inquisitor. I know they'll paint her as the stoic warrior, as the calm and lionhearted leader of the new faithful. _(More is lost here, line after line of running ink)_ And they'll be right, but not entirely. Because Lavellan was every bit the hero she'll be painted as, but also every bit a clever and wild and sometimes fearful woman who went out of her way to understand the people that followed her.

I hope this can give some insight into the type of person she was, and that by writing about her as a person, we can see her as more than a legend.

She didn't introduce herself when we first met. It didn't occur to her. She just said she was "an agent of the Inquisition," and let her deeds speak for themselves. _(This part is underlined, with an asterisk next to it)_ No title attached. So imagine my surprise when I got back to Haven and heard that she, that this random tiny elf girl, was the Herald of Andraste.

"I have to admit," I said when I saw her again back at Haven. "I thought you'd be…"

"Human?" She asked, smirking a bit. She shrugged. "At least you're honest about it. Half the people here, they're all 'oh, your grace' and 'blessings upon ye' and 'if you get the chance, could you bless my goat' but I know they call me knife-ear and say things about my face behind my back."

"It was a foolish thought, shouldn't have said it." But she was so lighthearted about it. Like it didn't even faze her- it did though, it had to. "It's what you do, and how you do it that's important." I paused, then ventured a question. "How do you think you fit in with all this? The people say one thing, nobles say another, but what do you think?"

"Nobody really cares, right?" I blinked, taken aback. "I'm their 'Herald' whether I like it or not. And I don't. The Maker is something, but the Evanuris are something else, and that something matters more to me. To be honest with you I never thought about it much. At home, they were what they were. We talked with humans, sure, but I never thought about their Maker or their Prophet. I paid respects to Andruil for my shooting, and to June for my traps, and to Falon'Din when my grandmother died." She sighed and pulled at one of the stray straps on her thick coat. "No matter how much I say I'm not special, not for Andraste or anyone, nobody cares. They've decided I'm the Herald, and I kind of have to live with it."

It was sad to see her like that. She still had that note of humor in her voice, but I know she was serious. She was forced to be someone she wasn't. I know she never wanted this, and I know she didn't think she was special, but she was. No matter what she says, no one could have done what she did.

"But in the end, how I feel is less important than doing it right. We're doing a good thing, and with any hope I can just go back to my clan and pretend none of this ever happened after we close the Breach." She smiled, embarrassed, and shook her head. "Sorry, I didn't mean to just go off on you. I'm glad you're here, Warden Blackwall."

"As am I. That's a worthy goal, and I'm happy to support it. And anyway, sometimes you need to talk it out, right? I get it- you have a lot on your shoulders."

"Ugh," she laughed a bit. "You have no idea. You know," she paused, as if wondering whether she should go on. "When I was little, I remember hearing about the Hero of Fereldan. She wasn't Dalish, but she was still an elf, and she always tried to stand up for us. And it made me think, well, maybe the Wardens don't care so much if you're an elf? And for a time, I even wanted to join." She laughed again and sighed. "The shine wore off when I learned more about the Darkspawn parts, but I still have a lot of respect for what you do."

I smiled at her, though I wasn't sure what to say. "I'm glad. And who knows? You could still join them. Leave all this behind." I was mostly joking, and it got her to smile.

"Yeah, right. I'll never live this down. Can't imagine what my Keeper would say. Maybe I could go back to see them soon, feel a little bit of normal..."

 _-excerpt from the journal of Thom Rainier_


	8. Chapter 8

Haven

 **Cullen-**

"So, I've been thinking." Yvelle was never one for announcing her presence, or giving introductions. Or really any formality at all. She caught me by surprise in Haven, coming up behind me during training exercises. "I'm really leaning toward getting the templars to help us with the Breach. Vivienne thinks the rebel mages are a bad idea, and I don't disagree with her."

I raised my eyebrows at her. "I would be inclined to agree. If anything, we should at least find out what's going on with the templars. The Order has cut itself off, and I have a bad feeling about the reports Leliana's been getting."

"Right," she said, nodding. "I also just don't know how much we should really… encourage apostates? I don't know, it seems like a bad idea." She sighed and kept talking before I could ask her anything about that. "Anyway, I just thought it was a good idea to talk to you about… being a templar. I mean, if they're going to be here, I, um…"

"Are you alright, Herald?"

"Yes!" She said quickly. "I'm just… it's been a long day. And I've been sleeping really weird. Kind of hard to think straight sometimes. But, anyway, can you offer any advice? Or tell me about what your experience was with the Order?"

I decided to let it go. She was always running around, and I had no reason not to believe her when she said she hadn't been sleeping well. Given what she had to be going through, I'd be surprised if she iwere/i sleeping well. "I don't have much insight into what the Order is doing now, but if you have more general questions, I will answer as best I can."

She considered this, crossing her arms over her massive coat. "Well, what is this training like that I've heard so much about?"

"There's weapon and combat training- even without their abilities templars are some of the best warriors in Thedas. Initiates must also memorize portions of the Chant of Light, study history, and improve their mental focus."

"Did you enjoy it?" She tilted her head to the side slightly, and I remember distinctly how the sun caught her eyes. They were like embers in a campfire at the end of the night -warm and subdued, but still burning, alive.

"I… yes. I wanted to learn everything. If I was giving my life to this, I wanted to be the best templar I could."

She smirked a little. "So… a model student?"

"I wanted to be," I chuckled softly. "I wasn't always successful. Watching a candle burn down while reciting the Chant of Transfigurations wasn't the most exciting task. I admit, my mind sometimes wandered."

"Wandered?"

"Wouldn't yours? Do your people have anything similar?"

"Hm…" She considered this. "Not exactly, but our mages go through a lot of training. My sister would have to do this thing, she'd sit in front of the fire and go into the Fade, all night. She was supposed to speak with the spirits of our past Keepers, to get their knowledge. It would take her hours." She laughed then, and the sound was somehow both coarse and easy to listen to. "I remember one time we- never mind, you'll think we're- it's stupid."

I smiled. "You can't start a story like that and not finish it."

She laughed again. "Okay, well, she was supposed to be in this deep meditation. She'd been doing it for hours." The story is not one I would repeat here in its entirety -it was naturally very funny, but not the type of material we're keeping in this book. She ended it with: "And we never did find that aravel."

I laughed, harder than I had in weeks. "I cannot believe- you better hope Josephine never hears that. She'll have your head." It was so easy to talk to her- she always seemed like someone you'd known for a long time.

"Oh, please, if she hasn't had my head yet then she's not going to do it over a story. That poor woman," she shook her head, then sighed. "Do you know when her birthday is?"

I furrowed my brow. "No? Should I?"

"Well, you do work with her every day." She smirked, then shook her head. "But we can figure it out. Maybe we can throw her a party; she might like not having to plan something."

"That sounds like a fine idea. Though Josephine is the only I know who can really put a party together."

"Vivienne could do it!"

"Ugh, she… is very intimidating. Does she seem that way to you?"

Yvelle laughed again, which I wasn't expecting. "She can come across that way, yeah. But she knew my sister, and it's… I know it's strange, but it's nice to know someone who also has fond memories of her."

"That's not strange at all. Your sister, the mage?"

"Yes." Her smile turned soft and nostalgic. "Ellian. She was… everything I wanted to be. She was beautiful and talented and so, so smart. Have you ever known someone who just- was everything that's right?"

I watched her, quiet for a moment before replying. "Yes. She was- bright and quick and so funny. I swear everything that came out of her mouth made the air feel lighter. But she, well- I'll admit I haven't thought about her in a long time."

"The Hero of Fereldan?"

"How did you-" I started, eyes wide.

"I just- sorry, okay, it's kind of creepy." She was blushing heavily and looking away now. It was strange to see her like this, but also somehow fitting. "I know a lot about her. I knew she was in the Fereldan Circle, and Cassandra said you were as well, and I know she- got along very well with a certain templar."

I scoffed. "And you assumed that was me?"

"I- yes. But I'm right though, aren't I?"

"Yes," I sighed and shook my head. "I- it's been ten years. I honestly only wish to know if she yet lives. She was a good person, and a good friend. We parted on bad terms, and I- I know things did not turn out for her as they should have. She deserved better."

Yvelle nodded and looked up at me. "I agree. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"No, it's… it's fine."

"Were you two ever…?"

"Why do you ask?" The question came out harsher than I meant it to, and she shrunk back slightly. "Sorry, I'm -sorry."

"I mean, you wouldn't, right? I just- well I heard templars take certain vows."

"We vow not to get involved with our charges, if that's what you mean."

"Well, yes, that, but also vows of…" She trailed off, and I stared at her, confused, before I suddenly realized what she meant.

"Uh, no, that's- that's not expected," I cleared my throat. "Templars can marry, though there are some rules around it. Some may choose to give up more to prove their devotion but it's not required.

"And you didn't?" She smiled a little, but I couldn't tell why.

"Me, uh, no. I've taken no such vows." I rubbed the back of my neck. "Maker's breath, could we talk about something else?"

"Yes, I- I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." She shifted her weight and cleared her throat. Her next questions were much easier to answer.

 _-excerpt from The Official Story of Inquisitor Lavellan, as Told by Those Closest to Her by Cullen Rutherford_

Therinfal Redoubt

 **Cassandra-**

Lavellan chose not to address the mages at all. We did not go to Redcliffe, largely because she saw the templars as being in more immediate danger. Once she made her decision, Josephine worked to secure us an entourage of nobles from most of Orlais's great houses, in the hopes that we would secure an audience with the Order that way. Josephine made sure all our armor was in presentable condition, and we -the Herald, Solas, Varric, and I- went on our way.

"Ugh," Lavellan frowned when she stepped into a puddle, water splashing up around her ankles. "This does not bode well."

"Yeah, I don't have a good feeling about this," Varric walked beside her, shaking his head. "Nothing good ever happens on days like this."

She held herself around her stomach and shivered. Nobles in long, Orlesian dresses and tailored suits wandered about, whispering underneath brightly-colored umbrellas. As she walked past, they fell silent, turning to look at her. I heard her mumble something that sounded Dalish and angry under her breath.

"I know, Twigs," Varric said with a sigh. "Let's just get in there and get this over with."

"The Herald of Andraste!" Lord Abernache met us near the entrance. He approached the Herald with a confidence not many showed around her. "Lord Esmeral Abernache. Honored to participate. It is not unlike the second dispersal of the reclaimed Dales." Yvelle crossed her arms and stared at him flatly. He cleared his throat and when on. "The Lord Seeker is willing to hear our petition about closing the Breach. A credit to our alliance with the Inquisition. Care to mark the moment? Ten Orlesian houses walk with you."

"Right… okay, well, let's just do this." She turned and started to walk ahead.

He followed her, talking quickly. "The Lord Seeker won't meet with us until he sees you in person. Quite a surprise, after the spat in Val Royeaux."

She raised a dark eyebrow at him. "We only need help closing the Breach. Nothing more." He sighed and continued walking after her.

"Here we are. Therinfal Redoubt."

I looked up at the fortress, frowning. "The Lord Seeker abandoned the White Spire to come here."

Lavellan turned to look at me. "He changed his mind rather quickly. Is that like him?"

"I- I cannot say. It is hard to tell what is 'like him' now and what is not."

She sniffled and pushed a lock of wet hair out of her eyes. "Everyone is much too tense. This isn't going to go well, I can feel it." There were templars gathered by the gate, waiting for Lavellan. Oddly enough, none of the templars were very high-ranked. I overheard one of them asking another where the officers were -Lavellan must have heard as well, because she shot me a nervous glance.

Abernache brought us to a familiar face by the entrance, and another noble introduced us. "I present Knight Templar Ser Delrin Barris, second son of Bann Jervin Barrix of Fereldan." He then gestured to Abernache. "Ser Barris, may I be so honored as to present Lord Abernache-" But Barris wasn't listening. He walked toward Lavellan instead, and she raised her eyebrows in interest.

"I'm the one who sent word to Cullen," she said nothing, just watched him with a strange expression. "He said the Inquisition works to close this Breach in the Veil. I didn't think you'd bring such… lofty company."

"Barris," Abernache started, arms crossed over his chest. He wore an obvious mask, but still looked disdainful, somehow. "Moderate holdings, your family. And the second son? Puh!"

Barris said nothing to the Lord, just glared at him, and I saw the slightest of smiles on Lavellan's face. He looked back at her. "This promise of status has garnered interest from the Lord Seeker, beyond sense. The sky burns with magic, but he ignores all calls to action until your friends arrive."

"A Seeker should only lead the templars this way in an emergency," I offered, stepping forward to stand beside her. "Only if there's no other recourse. But his goal should be to restore them to order."

"He has taken command. Permanently," Barris explained.

"If he feels there is a holy mandate…"

"That is what the Lord Seeker claims," he looked back at Lavellan. "The Lord Seeker's actions make no sense. He promised to restore the Order's honor, then marched us here to wait. Templars should know their duty, even when held from it. Win over the Lord Seeker, and every able-bodied knight will help the Inquisition seal the Breach."

She took a deep breath. "If you think we're right, abandon the Lord Seeker and help _us_."

"We can't abandon our orders. Not while the officers that survived the events at the Conclave still follow him. We've been asked to accept much, after that shameful display at Val Royeaux. Our truth changes on the hour."

"Don't keep your betters waiting, Barris," Abernache cut in. Lavellan scowled at him. "There's important work for those born to it." Again, Barris gave him a restrained glare before leading us away.

"The Lord Seeker has a… request before you meet him." Lavellan followed the templar to a wall decorated with three flags. She crossed her arms and looked at it warily. Before her was a set of three wheels, each corresponding to one of the flags. "An honored rite, centered on the people, the Maker, and the Order. The Lord Seeker asks that you perform the rite so he may see the order in which you honor them."

"I feel like I'm the wrong person to ask. Why not have Cassandra do it?" She gestured to me, obviously uncomfortable with this.

"He specifically asked that you do it, Your Worship. There's no correct answer -the ritual simply shows watchers who you are and what you value."

"Um, well, okay. If he really wants me to. If that's what the Lord Seeker wants from the Inquisition, I'll do it."

He turned toward her and lowered his voice. "Not the Inquisition. The Lord Seeker changed everything to meet you. Not the Inquisition - _you._ By name."

"Why?"

"I don't know. He's been fixated on you since your horde of nobles arrived."

Abernache scoffed. "The Lord Seeker makes us shuffle flags around? Refuse! Let's meet the man already."

Lavellan looked between them, then turned to me. "What should I do?"

I looked up at the flags, considering. "I see Abernache's point, but I think you should do the ritual. It is a simple task, and I see no harm in it." She listened and nodded, then spoke up.

"We'll complete the ritual as asked." Barris nodded, and said he would take us to the Seeker when we completed the ritual.

Lavellan stepped forward, frowning. "Let's see, who do I care about more- shems, their Maker, or their mage killers? Hm…"

"Herald-" I started, but she held up a hand.

"I'm mostly joking, Cassandra. But he knows I'm an elf, why would he ask me to do this? Why does it interest him…?" She stepped up to the "people" flag.

"Perhaps he thinks you might have changed, Herald. You've been spending an awful lot of time with Seekers and sisters," Solas replied, walking up to stand beside her. She glanced at him, then back to the flags. "Or perhaps he wishes to know how politically savvy you are. You are coming to seek the templars aid, should you not put them first?"

She bit her lip, then shook her head. "We have plenty to offer them already. He wants to know who I am, not who I pretend to be. If I'm going to do this at all, I should do it honestly."

"Of course," he said with a nod, as he turned to watch her choices for himself.

"So… the people, the Maker, and the Order." She turned the people's flag first, all the way to the top. I could have figured that. She then raised the Order flag, before stepping back and examining all three. "See what he makes of this."

I sighed, but it wasn't very different from what I would have expected. Lavellan is not one for Andrastianism, despite her title. She turned around and approached Ser Barris.

"Traditionally, a participant in the rite now explains their choices to those assembled."

She looked at the wall as she answered him. "I decided based on what I believe. Beyond that, you need not know."

"If it wasn't to impress the Lord Seeker, why bother?" Abernache asked, obviously upset her choices. She frowned at him, but Barris answered first.

"I suppose those are _your_ intentions," he said, only giving the Lord a side glance.

"My intentions are to deal with people who matter. You helmed louts are wasting the Inquisition's time, and _my_ time! Unacceptable!"

Barris and Lavellan shared an annoyed glance before he sighed and gestured to the door. "The Lord Seeker awaits you both."

As we walked toward the door, Lavellan slowed down and elbowed me in the side. She was smirking. "He's good-looking, right?"

"Lavellan-" I started, already tired of the conversation.

"I'm trying to look out for you, is all. You're kind of a templar, right? You'd have so much in common!"

"Ugh." It was not worth it to engage her on this. She did this all the time then, tried to make things funny when the situation did not call for it. I used to think this is because she was immature, but I see now that her inexperience was only part of it. She chose to change how she saw a situation when it was uncomfortable for her because that made it easier for her to deal with.

As we entered the keep I saw Lavellan tense. Her ears shifted slightly and she walked slower, reaching back for her bow. Ser Barris argued with the Lord as we waited, and I watched Lavellan turn slowly to take in every corner of the room. "You feel it, right?" She asked me, her voice low.

"Something is very off," I said, glancing back at Solas and Varric. They also looked on-edge.

Suddenly Ser Barris fell silent and looked to a group of knights entering the room. "Knight-Captain," he breathed, sounding confused.

"You were expecting the Lord Seeker. He sent me to die for you."

Lavellan and Barris exchanged a wary glance. Abernache approached the templars and gave a short bow. "Knight-Captain. Lord Esmeral Abernache, honored. It is not unlike the second dispersal of the reclaimed Dales."

The Herald bristled. "Stop saying that," she hissed.

"No doubt rank puts you above such things. A pity more people don't understand that."

The Knight-Captain laughed, his voice low. "This is the grand alliance the Inquisition offers?" He shifted, watching Lavellan closely. "The Lord Seeker had a plan, but the Herald ruined it by arriving with purpose. It sewed too much dissent."

"Knight-Captain," Barris said, stepping forward. "I must know what's going on." Lavellan whipped around, looking at the door. Outside we heard shouting, fighting.

"You were all supposed to be changed!" The Knight-Captain cried. "Now we must purge the questioning knights!"

Slowly, I turned around, looking at everyone in the room. The other templars looked strange, sickly. Their faces were marred with red, glowing scars and their armor bore red lyrium. "Lavellan," I warned, looking at her.

She'd already drawn her weapon. "I know."

Barris backed away from the Knight-Captain, shaking his head. Abernache started to speak, but before he could say anything an arrow plunged into his skull. Lavellan aimed for the man who shot him and struck him down before he could react.

"The Elder One is coming!" The Knight-Captain bellowed as, all around us, templars cut down their brethren. "No one will leave Therinfal who is not stained red!"

"Maker's breath!" Barric drew his sword, taking in the sudden carnage.

We fought through them, acting quickly. Most fell to Varric's bolts or Lavellan's arrows, making it a quick battle. We pushed through the door to the outside and followed Lavellan through another round of traitorous knights. "I don't understand. Why are they doing this?" I asked as I pulled my sword from a soldier's throat.

"I don't know, Seeker. But that's red lyrium," Varric responded, adjusting something on Bianca.

"You said it's extremely potent, right?" Lavellan searched the bodies, looking for any clues. She stood up, holding a bright red crystal. Her mark exploded when she touched it with her left hand, and she yelped as she jumped backward, dropping it.

"Why would you touch it?" He scoffed, helping her up. "If they're using red lyrium in the same way templars use normal lyrium… this is bad."

Lavellan nodded as she brushed herself off. "We need to figure out why they're doing this. And who this 'Elder One' is."

We heard a commotion ahead, and pushed forward until we reached the Lord Seeker. Lavellan stopped, waiting for him to face her. She carefully stepped toward him, put out a hand to get his attention. "Lord Seek-" Before she could finish, he turned quickly and grabbed her by the collar, yanking her back into the door.

"At last," he hissed, before both of them vanished in a blast of green light.

 _-excerpt from The Official Story of Inquisitor Lavellan, as Told by Those Closest to Her by Cassandra Pentaghast_


	9. Chapter 9

Therinfal Redoubt

 **Lavellan-**

Envy.

The castle spun around me and a heavy mist mingled with mangled, heavy shadows. My heartbeat echoed in the empty air, the sound filling my head. As my eyes adjusted to the light I saw shapes in the dark, at first unrecognizable, but quickly taking form.

They looked unreal, inhuman. The design was elven, with sharp edges and colors that pulsed in the fog. But the longer I stared, the more I saw.

A girl knelt by a river, struggling to braid her hair. Another girl, several years older, came up behind her. She spoke, and the words were stolen by the abyss around us. The younger girl slowly let her long hair fall, and the older girl smiled as she wrapped the pieces together, winding them into a long, thick braid.

The girls disintegrated, and I as I stepped forward another image danced along the walls. The same girl, the younger, was now in her early teens. Her fingers trailed up a carved wooden staff leaning against a tree, but they stopped at the top, before the gleaming crystal. She jumped suddenly, and turned to see the other girl, the older, watching her.

"We have met, Herald," the voice was chilling and wrong and so, so cold. The girls fell apart, colors melting into the stale air, and I turned quickly, searching for the source of the voice. "So much envy for such a small child."

"Show yourself," I wish I could say I sounded strong. But my voice cracked, and my heart pounded in my ears.

The voice laughed, and slowly, with a shivering shape, a figure walked out from the shadows. Its form shuddered and shifted until it held- and I raised my chin, facing the thing with long, dreadlocked grey hair and wrinkled skin. The kind eyes I once knew now looked cold and cruel. Whatever it was, it had dug into my deepest thoughts and found an image of my grandmother.

"What are you? A demon?" I stepped back, reaching for my bow. My heart dropped when I felt only air. "How did you-"

"You are in my domain now, Herald." Her voice was not hers. Something sat behind it, strangling her gentle voice into something corrupt and horrible. "So much potential… so far yet still to wander." She stepped toward me, smiling. "You fight it, but you know you feel it. I have always been part of you, _da'len_."

I glared at her, reaching inside myself for something stronger. "You have no right to call me that. You are a demon, nothing more."

"Is that true, though?" As she walked, her form shifted. I turned, watching carefully as she grew and morphed. "Or am I already part of you? Feeding off what you've felt for so long?" It laughed, taking on the face and body of my Keeper. "You wanted everything she had. Her magic, her beauty, her intelligence. And what do you have?"

"Get out of my head…"

The spirit lunged at me and I screamed, falling back on to the ground. "Nothing! You are but a desperate child struggling for what you could never have. Power- so much power." It drifted around me and I struggled to my feet, backing up until I felt cool stone at my back. "What will you do as the Herald of Andraste, hm? Stumble toward the easiest option, falling for everything everyone tells you? Throw away your heritage, pretend your people never were? Tell me, what kind of leader _are_ you, Herald?" It took the form of Leliana now, smirking, cold. "From what I have seen, you are either a coward or a tyrant. You let the people around you make every decision, and when you must make your own you resort to petty threats."

"That's not true. You're a liar."

"Am I, Herald? In your heart you know it to be true." She stepped close enough that I could feel her breath on me -cold, thick, artificial. "Do you know what the Inquisition can become? You'll see. When I'm done, the Elder One will kill you and ascend. Then I will _be_ you."

"The Elder One…" I breathed, trying to keep my mind on track. "That's the second time I've heard that name. Who or what are they?"

The demon laughed again. "He is… between things. Mortal once, but no longer. Glory is coming, and the Elder One wants you to serve him like everyone else: by dying in the right way." I stayed still, staring at the demon, staying nothing. It pulled away, stepping back into the darkness. "I am Envy, and I will know you." I felt my chest grip my lungs and I suddenly realized the wall behind me was no more. Turning quickly, heart aching, breath coming hard and fast, I saw the demon now had the form of my commander. "Tell me what you think. What you feel." Something gasped, and I looked away from the demon to see myself, or a version of myself, or something, suddenly collapse to the ground, crying out in pain, blood staining the floor.

Whimpering, I stepped back, dropping the bloody dagger that had materialized in my hand. When the demon spoke again, it had _my_ voice. "Tell me what you see."

"Leave me!" I cried, wishing desperately that I had some weapon to fight it with. "You will not take me. I already know what you are, and you can have no part of me."

It cackled, voice deep and bellowing. "I already do, Herald." When it spoke, it was me, its voice now more calm, even tight with excitement. " _She was… everything I wanted to be. She was beautiful and talented and so, so smart._ "

"You can't- you can't know that…" I whispered. My heart felt heavy.

"You spoke it, Herald. You want to be her. But she is dead, and it is your fault."

"No! It was an accident! I never would have-"

"Of course not." It morphed again, its face changing just slightly. Her cheekbones were higher than mine, her face slightly thinner. Her eyes were bright and big, almost like a child's, and her marks were more delicate and more controlled. As her hair changed I saw how it fell against her back, long and thick and straight. Her body was stronger than mine, her hips wider and her breasts filling out perfectly on her chest where mine always felt so small. When she spoke, even her lips were prettier, more sculpted. "You killed me, Yvelle."

"No."

"You were there. You only went to the conclave because you knew how it would look if only I went. You said you resented my relationships with humans but you always wished you could be like me. It was so easy to talk to me, and the shems knew it too. You came because you could not stand the idea of only me having a reputation for civility among our kind. You came because you could not stand the idea of being left behind when I would come back with new stories of faraway lands."

"I went to protect you…" My voice cracked. Tears welled at my eyes and I fought them, even as my lower lip shook and my hands trembled. "I didn't- it was a mistake…"

"And then, I heard a noise. I said I thought something didn't seem right- you called me dramatic, said I always made things up-"

"I'm sorry… Ellian please…"

"You accused me of wanting to draw attention to myself. When I said I would leave, that I would investigate, you refused to let me go. 'Stay here with your shems.' Do you remember what you called me? What you said I was for doing what you always wished you could? For being who you always wished you could be?"

I buried my face in my hands, felt my knees giving out.

"Harellan- traitor! I wanted what was best for our people and you called me a traitor. 'Fen'Harel ma ghilana. Ma banal las halamshir var vhen.' You said it out of _hate_ -out of _envy!_ "

"I'm so sorry… Ellian, forgive me..."

"Then you left: angry, hateful. You heard a voice calling out -a voice meant for me. And you stole my life."

I sobbed. My heart ached, and my shoulders shook as I fell to my knees, face stained with tears. I couldn't stop feeling like I deserved this, like the pain of being there, in that place, was what I earned for hating my own sister. I would have given in, would have let the demon take me. After all, it would surely do better in my position than I would.

But I heard another voice. Kind and gentle and soothing. "Envy is hurting you. Mirrors on mirrors on memories. A face it can feel but not fake. I want to help. You, not Envy." He sounded so strong and sure that I raised my head, listening for more. The Envy demon had vanished, and around me were castle walls- and iron bars. I was in a cell, guarded by a templar with red lyrium growing out of her. "I've been watching. I'm Cole. We're inside you- or I am. You're always inside you." I sniffled and looked around, then saw him. A gaunt young man in a large hat, standing on the other side of the bars. On the ceiling. "It's easy to hear, harder to be a part of what you're hearing. But I'm here, hearing, helping. I hope. Envy hurt you, is hurting you. Then I was here, in the hearing. It's-" he paused, sounding apologetic. "It's not usually like this."

I gathered my strength and spoke, staring up at the boy on the ceiling. "I don't understand. Who… what are you?"

"I was watching. I watch. Every templar knew when you arrived. They were impressed, but not like the Lord Seeker. Envy twisted the commanders, forced their fury, their fight. They're red inside. Anyway, you're frozen. Envy is trying to take your face. I heard it and reached out, and then in, and then I was here."

"You're… another spirit then," I said carefully. "How… how am I frozen in the real world?"

"Thoughts are fast. We're here. Outside, a blade is still falling, hanging in the air like a sunset."

I took a deep, shuddering breath and gripped the iron bars as I pulled myself to my feet. "If no time is passing, does that mean I'm safe?"

"No," Cole was very clear on that. "It would be good if you got out."

"Alright... " I said slowly, looking from Cole to the iron bars. "Cole, if you really want to help, how do I get out?"

"It's you head. I hoped you'd know how to stop it."

"Well," I replied, a bit irritated now. I gestured at the bars. "Obviously I don't."

"All of this is Envy: people, places, power. If you keep going, Envy stretches. It takes strength to make more." He vanished suddenly, and when he spoke again he was with me, in the cell. I gasped and turned, back to the bars. "Being one person is hard. Being many, too many, more and more." He approached the bars, standing beside me, looking out. " And envy breaks down, you break out."

"So… we're going to tire it out. Make the demon submit by using all of its energy."

"Maybe. I hope it helps. It's more than sitting here waiting to lose your face."

I took a deep breath and nodded, looking up at the walls. "Right. First we have to get out of here." But when I turned, the bars were already gone. "How…?"

"You created them yourself. Your bindings are your own. You forgot about them, and that makes them vanish- but only for a time." He started toward the door, and I followed him out tentatively. My chest still ached, but it wasn't as bad now. The distraction helped. "This way."

We came to a large entrance hall, with multiple rooms off on the wings and huge statues in the middle. Green fire bellowed out of them, and I stood several feet away, nervously. Cole walked closer to them and put a hand to his chin, thinking.

"Ideas are loud here. Make them louder. Think of water." I looked at the fire and tried to imagine it as something else. "Flowing freely, gushing, cool."

"Cole, now I just have to pee."

"Sorry- I was trying to help."

The imagery worked, and the fire changed. First it was a stream, and then it was nothing. Cole moved forward, and again I followed.

"That thing can't help you. I _will_ see more!" The voice made me shudder, and I hesitated. But Cole ushered me on, and I trusted him because I had no other choice. We wound through rooms of strange sights, of images of me. The Envy demon, using my body, my voice, talked about assassinating the Empress of Orlais and raising a demon army. I kept pushing forward, kept moving, kept listening to Cole. It was my only way out.

We were outside, but not really. The sky above was gray with green lightning jolting through the clouds, and around us everything was dead. Demons attacked templars and rifts burst open all over the castle. I paused, but Cole urged me on. "You are almost out- remember, this isn't real."

I nodded and kept going. Soon we came to a flight of stairs, and a huge red door at the top. Before I could open it, I heard Envy's voice -as _my_ voice- once again. "Unfair, unfair! That thing kept you whole, kept you from giving me your shape!" It wrapped its cold hands around my neck and lifted me against the door, glowing green eyes blinding.

I struggled, kicking and grunting. "Put me down, demon!" I ordered, trying to sound strong.

"We'll start again," it raised its hand, gleaming like my own mark, and brought it toward me. "More pain this time."

The air crackled, and again I heard Cole. "It's frightened of you," he observed, in that same soft voice.

"Get out of-" the demon started, voice raising. But I broke free and, with all the strength I had left, I shoved it away. The world exploded with bright white light, and I gasped.

Suddenly I was back at Therinfal Redoubt. The envy demon, forced to show its true form, fell to its back on the hard stone ground. I stared down at it, breathing hard, shaken. The demon screamed before turning into a shadow, and then bolting back into the keep. It hid behind a barrier of green magic, vanishing into the air.

"The Lord Seeker-" Ser Barris started, but I raised a hand, cutting him off.

"No. An imposter." My voice sounded strained even to me. I cleared my throat and shook my head. Now was the time to focus. I could think about the rest later.

"That monster… it ensured we weren't prepared. I still don't know what we're up against."

"Did anyone else see a young man beside me?" I asked, turning to look at my companions.

"What young man?" Barris replied.

"Pale. Strangely dressed. He was with me?"

"I saw no one. The Lord seeker was alone when you revealed his true nature."

 _-excerpt from the Journal of Yvelle Lavellan_

 **Cassandra-**

I blinked, and the Lord Seeker was gone. In his place was an envy demon, shrieking and terrible. Lavellan panted, eyes wide, mark flaring. The demon burst into darkness and vanished into the keep, leaving us staring at the barriers of magic ahead.

"Lavellan," I said cautiously, walking up beside her. "Are you alright? You seem… off."

She nodded, but there was a haunted look in her eyes. "Don't worry. We- we have work to do."

Ser Barris spoke to the other templars, then looked back at us. "We need our veterans. Our commanders have turned, but the lieutenants may still be fighting. We'll hold the hall. You find the lieutenants and the uncorrupted lyrium stores. Bring them here, and I'll give you Envy."

So we left. Lavellan was quiet during every fight, and there was a shudder in her arm. She missed more frequently, and most of her hits weren't lethal. As I finished directing some of the veteran templars, I saw her speaking with Solas. He was looking at her oddly, and for a brief moment he let his hand linger on her shoulder. She shrugged him off, and I heard her say. "Just leave it." He seemed concerned.

"What do you think is going on with her, Solas?" I asked carefully as we made our way back to the hall.

He shook his head. "Something she does not wish to share. I imagine it had something to do with the envy demon. But for now she seems content to focus on the mission, so I suggest we do the same."

With every group we brought back we wore the barrier down. Finally it shattered, leaving us to chase Envy outside, onto a large balcony. "I touched so much of you," the demon bellowed, presumably to Lavellan. "But you are selfish with your glory. Now I'm no one." We walked carefully, not seeing it. Lavellan drew her bow, watching, waiting.

The demon burst from the ground with a shriek, and immediately Lavellan aimed at it. "Dark and desperate, death to make yourself alive." I turned to see the source of a new voice- a young man in patchwork clothes. "I used to be like you. I'm not anymore. You shouldn't be, either." Judging by

The Herald's reaction, this was the man she met earlier. Somehow.

At that point the demon was hardly holding itself together. It screamed again and attacked, giving Lavellan an open shot. We did not take long to defeat it, as it was significantly weaker than it had been when this whole mess began. When we destroyed it, the demon disintegrated into the wind, sucked into the Breach.

We returned to the main hall to see the templars approaching us. Ser Barris stepped forward, meeting the Herald halfway. "The demon is dead," he said simply, arms crossed behind his back. "Andraste be praised: she shielded you from its touch." I tried to ignore Lavellan's raised eyebrows and annoyed expression. He turned around, leading the Herald toward the surviving templars. "We've numbers across Thedas, but we let this happen. Our officers either failed to see it or were complicit. The templars are ready to hear what the Inquisition needs of us."

Lavellan looked back at the Breach, then at the crowd. "Help us seal that," she said simply. "You have been corrupted, but there is still good here. You can use it. _We_ can use it."

"You speak truths we should never have ignored," Barris replied with the smallest of sighs. "But the Order is leaderless, gutted by betrayal. We must rebuild it." She listened to him, quiet for a long time.

Her voice shook at first, but then held. "There is no time." She walked toward them, arms crossed behind her back. "If the old Order is too broken to stand, then become knights under the Inquisition. Serve us. Stop the Breach, and begin again without stain on your honor."

Barris hesitated at this, but agreed. "If it the only way templars, will we serve the Inquisition to atone for our failure?" She looked over them as they bowed before her, and I thought she seemed a uncomfortable at the sight. I admit, that is comforting. "So bet it," Barris said, turned to Lavellan again. "The Order will- disband. And take up the Inquisition's banner. We'll need weapons, training grounds, a place to rest. The Inquisition must prepare for our arrival."

"Don't worry. We'll be expecting you."

 _-excerpt from The Official Story of Inquisitor Lavellan, as Told by Those Closest to Her by Cassandra Pentaghast_


	10. Chapter 10

Haven

 **Sapper-**

"It was in my head." The Herald had taken to sitting on the ground at Haven now. I thought it seemed cold, but her thick coat likely kept her warm enough. I listened to her as I stood outside the apothecary, tending to one of our struggling mountain gardens. "It knew things about me that no one can know, that no one should know. How can you defend that kind of creature?"

Solas was standing. His clothes were thinner than hers, so I imagine he would not enjoy sitting in the snow. He listened to her patiently, hand resting under his chin. "A demon is a purpose corrupted. Spirits wish to join the living, and demons are that wish gone wrong. I do not defend demons -I merely wish to understand why they are the way they are."

"They're evil," Lavellan said, voice almost too low for me to hear. "It's not right, for something to be able to get into your head like that. It's like… it tears something out of you, something you don't even like, something that's ugly and bad, and then it makes you _look_ at it. Like really look at it. And then it just- it just drops you. Because that's all it needed you for." She shuddered. "Like I was food."

"It must have been terrible." Solas was quiet for a time, and I peeked at the two of them over one of the pots to see her getting to her feet, pressing against the wall for support. He offered her a hand, but she shook her head. "You said you were not alone though?"

"No. Another spirit helped me. Well, I think he was a spirit anyway." She straightened out her coat and tucked some of her thick red hair behind her ear. "If he hadn't shown up, I don't know how I would have been able to resist the demon."

"What did this other spirit do to help you?"

"He just reminded me of what was going on. He pushed me forward, and helped me figure out how to get out. But he didn't look like a spirit, he looked like a young man." She leaned against the wall, holding her coat tight around her. "A really gaunt, sickly young man. And he didn't call himself a spirit name, or a demon name. He called himself Cole."

"Interesting. I wish I'd had the opportunity to meet him. Lavellan, with your newfound connection to magic, might it be a good idea for you to learn how to counter demons? You may be a target for them."

She tilted her head to the side and considered this for a moment. "That would probably be helpful. You must know a lot about avoiding possession, considering you're an apostate. Circle mages learn it differently, right?"

He nodded. "I may be able to assist you. Of course, it will be different because you are not a mage, but many of the concepts should be similar."

Lavellan opened her mouth to respond, but was cut off by a scout running toward her. "Lady Herald, I apologize for interrupting, but you are wanted in the War Room. Seeker Pentaghast wants a debrief on Envy and the templars."

The Herald sighed. "Another time, Solas." He nodded and let her go.

 _-excerpt from All New, Faded For Her: Impressions of the Relationship between Inquisitor Yvelle Lavellan and the Dread Wolf, compiled by Elia Morn, Agent of the Inquisition_

 **Cassandra-**

With the templars on our side, albeit in a reduced capacity, we felt ready for Lavellan to close the Breach. Solas and I brought her back to the ruins of the Temple with a small contingent of veteran knights. With any hope, their magic suppression abilities would be able to weaken the Breach enough for her to close it.

We stood by to protect her in case anything went wrong, but as she stepped toward the rift I thought she seemed stable. Her mark flared dramatically, and she raised her arm to shield her eyes, but she looked calm. The templars sent forth their abilities, and Lavellan lifted her hand toward the Breach. Her arm shook and she struggled to stand. The green light wrapped around her hand and she stood a little taller, letting her own power out toward the hole. I covered my eyes as the light from the Breach grew brighter, blinding us until suddenly it was pulled back and vanished. A powerful force rippled from where the rift was, sending us all to the ground.

I struggled to my feet. The Herald knelt on the ground, her mark flickering. She slowly turned to look at me, her expression a mixture of bewilderment and pride. I helped her to her feet, somehow afraid to be too happy for us. "You did it," I said, watching as she stared up at the place where the Breach once was.

 _-excerpt from The Official Story of Inquisitor Lavellan, as Told by Those Closest to Her by Cassandra Pentaghast_

 **Cassandra-**

We held a celebration that night. Lavellan stood outside of the Chantry, looking over our people. "Solas confirms the heavens are scarred but calm," I said as I approached her. "The Breach is sealed." She looked at me then,her expression difficult to read. "We've reports of lingering rifts, and many questions remain, but this was a victory. Word of your heroism has spread."

"We don't know what caused this," she said quietly, gaze turning briefly to the camp before she looked back at me. "We can't rest easy."

"I agree. One success does not guarantee peace." I paused, considering how to say the next part. "The immediate danger is gone. For some, so is the necessity of this alliance." She stayed quiet. "We must be wary. The Inquisition will need new focus."

"We need to reform the templars, right? That can be our focus, for now."

I nodded. "But for tonight, we should celebrate. You've earned a bit of respite." I heard a loud bell, echoing through the valley. I looked at Lavellan, but she seemed just as confused as I. Then another bell sounded, and soon Haven was full of confused shouts and whispers.

The people looked around for an answer, panic spreading rapidly. Above the clamor, I heard Cullen shouting: "Forces approaching, to arms!"

"What the…?" I looked at Lavellan. "Come, we must get to the gates!" She nodded and followed. Cullen, Josephine, and Leliana were already there. "Cullen?" I asked, already feeling on-edge.

"One watchguard reporting. It's a massive force, the bulk over the mountain." He gestured toward the edge of the valley, on the slope of a tall mountain, where we could now see troops carrying torches.

"Under what banner?" Josephine asked.

"None."

 _-excerpt from The Official Story of Inquisitor Lavellan, as Told by Those Closest to Her by Cassandra Pentaghast_

 **Dorian-**

I came to the Inquisition at an inopportune time. I was tied up in Redcliffe until everything there went to shit, and when I realised what was going on I raced to Haven as fast as I could. I was a bit late, however, and had to fight my way through Venatori and corrupted templars to reach Haven just before the bulk of Corypheus's army.

They swung open the gates as I pulled myself to my feet. Lavellan and Cullen were the first to greet me, and they looked wary of an outsider. "I came here to warn you," I said, catching my breath and using my staff to stand. "Fashionably late, I'm afraid." I stumbled, and the Commander helped me stand. "Mite exhausted, don't mind me." Taking a deep breath, I looked around until I saw the person most likely to be "The Herald." She was an elf girl, with dark red hair, and this ridiculous outfit of furs. At least it made her stand out. "My name is Dorian Pavus. And I bring grave news from Redcliffe- an army of rebel mages, right behind me. They are under the command of the Venatori, in service to something called the 'Elder One.'" I turned and pointed at the mountains, where we could just barely make out the shape of a woman standing beside a massive, hulking humanoid abomination. "The woman is Calpernia. She commands the Venatori. For that… the Elder one. They were already marching on Haven. I risked my life to get here first."

Lavellan shook her head and looked at Cullen. "Give me a plan, anything."

"Haven is no fortress. If we are to withstand this monster, we must control the battle." He gestured to the trebuchets. "Get out there and hit that force. Use everything you can!" Then, rather dramatically, he drew his sword and faced his soldiers. "Gather the villagers! Fortify and watch for advance forces! Inquisition! With the Herald! For your lives, for all of us!"

Seemed like quite the mess I stepped into.

 _-excerpt from The Official Story of Inquisitor Lavellan, as Told by Those Closest to Her by Dorian Pavus_

 **Cassandra-**

We were lucky to have The Iron Bull and Solas nearby when we fought through to the trebuchets. Lavellan is a capable archer, but archers need support. The four of us had to fight through waves of Venatori and rebel mages to finally reach the siege equipment, but we managed it largely unscathed. We buried the bulk of their forces beneath an avalanche, and I allowed myself a moment of relief.

Lavellan relaxed slightly and smiled. All around us we heard cheering, and it truly felt as if we'd managed a great victory.

We were wrong. As anyone who has studied the Inquisition knows, this was when we first saw the Elder One's dragon. It roared a horrible, bright red first on to us, destroying the trebuchet, and screamed as it flew over Haven. Lavellan stood completely still, mouth hanging open, watching it soar past. "Oh, shit," she mumbled, shaking her head. "E-everyone to the gates! Come on." Even as we ran she kept looking up at the dragon, brows knit together in fear.

Cullen ushered us in through the main gates, then slammed them shut behind us. "We need everyone back to the chantry. It's the only building that might hold against… that beast!" It was obvious that seeing the dragon ruined any chance we had of rallying the troops. We were being attacked by an enemy that apparently had enough power to bring a dragon on to their side -it is not hard to understand why many among us felt the fight had turned hopeless. Even Cullen was obviously out of ideas. "At this point," he said, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "Just make them work for it."

Haven could not defend against a dragon. Even as we dug our workers and friends out of the rubble, we knew our efforts might be pointless. If the dragon had us trapped here, we felt we would perish. We rallied everyone to the Chantry, where we met Cullen, Dorian, and Roderick once more.

Lavellan and I pulled the heavy chantry doors shut as soon as Dorian and Roderick were inside. "A brave man," Dorian said as he supported the old cleric. "He stood against a Venatori."

"Briefly," Roderick added, voice weak. "I am no templar."

Lavellan watched him warily, but did not have a chance to respond. Cullen approached us, as dour as ever. "Herald! Our position is not good. That dragon stole back any time you might have earned us. There has been no communication, no demands. Only advance after advance."

"There was no bargaining with the mages either." Dorian knelt beside Roderick, trying to help him as he bled out. "This Elder One takes what it wants. From what I gather in Redcliffe, it marched all of this way to take your Herald."

"I don't care what it wants," Lavellan said, shaking her head. Her voice was low and careful. "How do we stop it?"

"Trust me, that is not information I would keep to myself. And such a promising start with the landslide…" Dorian chuckled. "If only trebuchets remained an option."

"They are," Cullen began. "If we turn the last of them to the mountains above us."

Lavellan blinked, and when she spoke she sounded incredulous. "What? We're overrun! If we do that we'll bury Haven."

"This is not survivable now," Cullen said calmly. "The only choice left is how spitefully we end this."

"Well, that's not acceptable," Dorian interrupted them, leaving Roderick in a chair near the entrance. "I didn't race here only to have you drop rocks on my head."

"Should we submit? Let him kill us?"

"Dying is typically a last resort, not first! For a templar, you think like a blood mage!"

Cullen said nothing at that, just stared at Dorian blankly. Almost threateningly.

"There is path," Roderick started, so quiet we almost didn't hear. "You wouldn't know it was there unless you'd made the summer pilgrimage. As I have. The people can escape. She must have shown me. Andraste must have shown me so I could… tell you." He stood slowly, holding his side.

"Roderick?" I asked.

"It was whim that I walked the path. I did not mean to start, it was overgrown. Now, with so many in the Conclave dead. To be the only one who remembers… I don't know. If this simple memory can save us, this could be more than mere accident. _You_ could be more."

Lavellan was quiet, listening. When she finally spoke, her voice was cautious and level. "Will that work, Cullen?"

"I… I believe it might. If Roderick's memory serves, we could get everyone out, then send up a flare to let you know we're safe. But… what about you? I'm not comfortable sending you to your death, not- not knowingly, anyway."

"Solas and I can protect her," I offered, looking briefly at the apostate. He hesitated a moment before nodding. "We'll make sure you get out alive, Herald."

"Perhaps you _can_ surprise the Elder One," Dorian said quietly, looking between us.

Cullen stayed back a moment, looking at Lavellan, then at Solas and I. He said nothing for a while, then sighed and shook his head. "Be safe." He turned, walking toward the soldiers near the back of the chantry. "Inquisition! Follow Chancellor Roderick through the chantry! Move!"

Dorian helped Roderick stand, supporting him once more. "Herald…" The cleric said weakly, looking at her. "If you are meant for this, if the Inquisition is meant for this, I pray for you." She watched him as Dorian led him out, biting her lip.

A few soldiers ran for the door. "They'll load the trebuchets," Cullen said, pointing toward Haven. "Keep the Elder One's attention until you see the flare. If we are to have a chance -if _you_ are to have a chance- let that thing hear you."

But as we turned to leave, a huge hand pulled Lavellan back. "That thing's got a dragon, right?" The Iron Bull stood behind her, looking down from his massive height. Lavellan blinked, then nodded. "I'll help too. Besides, you need a real meat shield out there."

She snorted, then sighed. "Just don't get yourself killed." Then she looked at Solas and I. "That goes for everyone. When I tell you to go, you have to go. Promise me." And we did, because she wouldn't let us leave otherwise.

We left the chantry to immediate resistance. I was thankful for Bull's help- we needed as much support as we could get. We pushed through to our remaining trebuchet, which was suspiciously empty when we arrived. Venatori attacked us as soon as we started to aim the trebuchet. "Keep turning it, we'll hold them off!" I yelled as Lavellan drew her bow.

"You sure?"

"We can handle this, Herald. Do what you must." She continued to aim the equipment, and with one less hand the fight was significantly harder. More than once we found ourselves pushed back against the trebuchet, cornered by zealots. But every time we protected Lavellan, kept the Venatori off her.

It would not last. There were too many, and we were overwhelmed. I finally told Solas and Bull to leave us, because they were running out of time.

"I don't think so, Seeker," Bull snarled, cleaving through another zealot. "We still have some fight left in us."

"We will be fine, Cassandra. Focus on protecting the Herald- we'll hold them off you," Solas stood behind Bull, closer to us.

I looked back at Lavellan. She had to fight now too, and there was already blood on her coat. "We can't hold them off much longer, Herald."

She loosed another arrow before straightening, taking in the battlefield. "Go, then. I've- agh!" A cloud of dust appeared behind her, and I could do little but stare in horror as a venatori materialized at her back.

He held daggers in both hands, gleaming with blood. She fell to the ground, grasping her side. "For the Elder One!" He cried, yanking her back by her hair, blade positioned to slit her throat.

Lightning shot out from behind me and he screamed, staggering backward. Lavellan struggled to stand, hand slipping on the trebuchet wheel. "Herald!" Solas shouted.

Before either of us could reach her a deafening roar drowned out our cries. We looked up to see the dragon bearing down on us. "Go!" Lavellan ordered, her voice hoarse. Red fire burst from the monster's jaws, chasing us until we had no choice but to leave her. I managed to take cover, hiding behind a tree until the dragon passed. Immediately I ran back to her, but another ball of fire- this time from a Venatori, exploded at my feet.

I looked up to see her kneeling on the ground, clutching at her side, blood coating the snow.

 _-excerpt from The Official Story of Inquisitor Lavellan, as Told by Those Closest to Her by Cassandra Pentaghast_


End file.
